Monday, December 15, 2014

Deep Thoughts

Which "red flag" should everyone look out for when they are dating?

70 comments:

  1. Someone who says "I love you" waaayy too quickly....without really even knowing you yet!!!

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  2. Replies
    1. A female "roommate" in a one room apartment.
      More female than male friends on Facebook.
      (Voice of experience on both-#1's "roommate" was a girlfriend, and # 2 was a player--he went on a date and had slept with 5 other women in the restaraunt)

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  3. Doesn't like animals. Deal breaker!

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    1. Yep. When I was dating, the minute the douchebag said he didn't like cats, I would shut down.

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    2. I'm with you both on this one too, Cheese and Omar...Don't like any animals? Seems very wrong to me. Or someone who uses racial terms, hates gay people and/or are extremely religious as an excuse for both. CRAZAY!!

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    3. @ Omar Little -- Yes, absolutely. 100% agree.

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    4. We have a WINNER! If your pet doesn't trust them or they treat your pet poorly - Show them the DOOR!

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  4. Someone who is never wrong. And any of the sociopath signs.

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    1. +1mil The guy who told me he loved waaay too fast... I eventually figured out he was a sociopath. Very manipulative!

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  5. Proneness to jealousy.
    Plus, you gotta get with my friends, yo!

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  6. Anyone who lives in his parent's basement and wraps himself in a bacon blanket.

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  7. Extreme beliefs which you do not share, including but not limited to religious affiliations, political viewpoints, or extreme fandom.

    Recently went on a date with a guy who was an extreme environmentalist - every conversational thread lead to the impending death of the planet. Otherwise a pleasant enough man, intelligent and attractive, but I just couldn't handle the constant flood of gloom and doom.

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    1. LOL Karen! No, he was a just an average consultant in his 50s. He was also head of the local chapter of one of the main political parties, and sure that the other political party was responsible for everything from the crisis in Ukraine to the delay in serving his carrot and ginger soup. It was a shame, because he was a nice guy and liked me but...I just couldn't.

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    3. Jason, no no, no, no, no and NO. How dare you sully Mark Ruffalo's name, even in jest. This man is D I V I N E.

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  8. Oh boy! So many...

    Agree with Omar: if they don't like animals.

    How they deal with service people: waiters, cashiers, anyone in the service industry. It can be a huge tell.

    Someone who wants to know what you're doing every minute of the day. Run!

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    Replies
    1. @Meanie, I agree with you 100% about they way a date treats service personnel. And also how they deal with petty annoyances - crying babies, people shoving to get past them, delays in serving carrot and ginger soup.

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    2. Yes with the service people! I went on a date once with a super hot guy and ended up at best buy at some point so he could return something and he started yelling at the poor customer service rep. I told him I had to make a call and would be in the car I was so horrified. After that we stopped at his place and there was hunting trophies everywhere. Im a vegetarian. Yeah so that never went anywhere despite his hotness. I just couldn't.

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    3. +1000 on the service people.

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    4. yeah, yeah yeah. Even when they're attempting to mask how they deal with people, by the end of the meal - especially if there is an issue - you can see the truth. Lack of respect when dealing with anyone in a service position is a huge red flag.

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  9. Someone who can only get together on week days.

    A man that doesn't want to use a condom and then a man that has them ready on the first date. (It's a fine line.)

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  10. Jealousy. It's not a good thing, especially if it comes out early in a relationship.

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  11. Relentless suitors. Why are they so panicky?

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  12. Men with more than one baby mama. That would be a deal breaker for me, especially if they were never married. Like Ryan Phillipe and Jude Law just spreading their seed carelessly.

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  13. If someone tells you they're in am open marriage, make sure the spouse is aware of it.

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    1. When someone says they're divorced, make sure their spouse (hahaha, who are we kidding, their wife) knows it.

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  14. Anyone who uses the term "baby mama". Sorry @Katydid, not you.

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    1. Haha I know! It's an awful term :)

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  15. Replies
    1. Wise words. Penis sores are the worst.

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    2. Kay, oh yeah, thats an exit stage right if i were to see that!

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  16. Anyone who makes you go against your instincts..if your gut feeling is he's cheating..trust it. And anyone devoid of humor. Life's short, and a lot of it's funny.

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  17. I think you got most of them. Great job Liddy!

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  19. For On first date, DONT play with your phone or answer texts/emails...are you serious? Unless your mom is dying...don't be a douche and play with your phone.

    DONT trash talk your ex straight out of the gate...in fact don't talk about your ex at all, there's a time and a place and date #1 isn't it.

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    1. Oh gawd, playing with the phone. Hellooooo, I'm right in front of you. Talk to me. I dropped a friend because of this. Continually texting everyone when I was with him. Great guy otherwise, but it was so effing rude...

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  20. Guys that have abnormally close relationships with their mothers. Or abnormally distant ones, for that matter.

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    1. Distant relationships with a parent doesn't bother me. My mother is insane and toxic. I'm glad my brother is building more distance and protecting himself. His live-in girlfriend hasn't met my mom (2+years) despite being only an hour away and I 100% support this decision. I moved to another city to get away from her and have contact with her only half a dozen times a year.

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    2. My first thought was "someone who badmouths his mother." Not a good sign at ALL, no matter what she's done, which of course could be made up on his part for all I know. Just...not good. I speak from experience.

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  21. These are ones that have raised red flags for me:

    Wanting to take a selfie with me on the first date so she can send it to her parents.

    Saying on the first date, "I can't wait to meet your mother. I know she's going to love me."

    "Accidentally" running into her parents, or some other family member, while on our first date.

    Saying, "You remind me of my ex," and her really liking that.

    Specifically choosing a restaurant her ex works at for our first date.

    And my personal favorite: Saying, "I can see myself having children with you," on the first date.

    I've had a lot of terrible first dates. :(

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    1. I've had a first date bring me to a place an family member worked and another bring me to a place an ex worked...so not cool!

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    2. "Saying on the first date, "I can't wait to meet your mother. I know she's going to love me." "

      Oh man, R U N.

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  22. Anyone extremely jealous is a deal breaker or someone who wants to "take care of you" immediately upon meeting. I know what THAT means. You'll declare you own me and I owe you. No thanks.

    Men who are not somewhat friendly with and ex or whose exes have all cheated on him and are BCW (Bitch is the first word). You'll just be the next one when you break up no matter how faithful or kind you may be.

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  23. I wouldn't know, I never went on a date!

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  24. Someone who talks about how much they can drink and how drunk they got last weekend. Low class and boring.

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  25. Would it be considered a red flag to women if a guy in his very early 30's had Star Wars bubble bath in his bathroom? Just asking for....uh...a friend.

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    1. No, Jason. Please tell your friend that this is a PLUS.

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    2. Okay....that's a relief to m- uh...my friend. Yeah.

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    3. Yup. Super cute. Your...friend...is a catch, young Jedi.

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  26. My first date jokes are:
    So my parents are REALLY excited to have you over for dinner! (Works best on a one nighter)
    Or
    After he tells me the big entree he's ordring, I'm just going to have a salad!

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  27. If you're Jewish, guys that say "Wow. You don't look Jewish." I had it happen three times to me during my dating years, and I found it highly offensive and stereotypical. Any other racist or homophobic tendencies are deal breakers also.

    Those, and if most of his (or her) friends tend to be total dicks. Birds of a feather...

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  28. Watch out for mama's boys. Now I am all about a man who looks out for their family members, but not interested in a boy who can't cut the apron strings.

    Watch out for the guy who has a mother that can't stay out of his business. The kind that drops by unannounced. The kind that has a tendency to ask inappropriate questions.

    Checkout how the father treats the mother too.



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  29. (Long time "other site" lurker, first time commenter - hello!)

    Giant red flags: texting or taking a call on a first date unless it's an emergency, followed closely by trash talking your Ex and blabbing on and on about how she trampled your poor heart and that you hope she dies (been told that multiple times).

    Worst first date I ever had involved a guy inviting me to dinner at a nice restaurant. He proceeded to order from the menu and then hand it back to the waitress. I assumed he'd ordered for the both of us, which isn't my thing but I went along with it. The food gets to the table and he starts to dig in like he hasn't eaten in weeks and offers me none. A few minutes in he looks up and says "Oh, if you want to order something I'll call the waitress and tell her to come back with a menu." Needless to say, there wasn't a second date.

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    1. Wow. That's over the top. I had a guy wolf down his food, and proceed to reach across and eat 3/4 of my food. When the bill came he insisted we split it evenly. Another winner.

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  30. Guys who say their ex was right to divorce them, because they were a lousy husband. First date. Fun!

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  31. Should have said first and last date, haha

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