Saturday, September 12, 2020
Friday, September 11, 2020
Feel Good Friday 9/11/20
Show and Tell: Part Deux 9/11/20
Sebastian Steudtner — a German pro surfer — rode a wave over 115 feet tall at Nazare, Portugal.
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) September 7, 2020
I’m not this tough. Or brave. Or talented...pic.twitter.com/b7p1RW8tTO
‘I Must Go Down To The Sea Again’ by Spike Milligan #GoonButNotForgotten pic.twitter.com/qhhZHFKzfX
— michael sheen (@michaelsheen) September 9, 2020
*gives stern look to a stressed swan*
— Florence Schechter (@floschechter) September 9, 2020
"don't be silly, stop it"
this has to be the most English dad inspo video ever https://t.co/FX1DdzAeI5
he thinks he’s dishes pic.twitter.com/4T8lxWwalw
— bob of ganoush (@rachelmillman) September 9, 2020
Anyway this woman who re-enacts SATC scenes with her cat as Samantha is my only joy pic.twitter.com/vEovoLlpxC
— Alanna Bennett (@AlannaBennett) September 9, 2020
Thinking about that time Eugene Levy was swanning around Road to Avonlea in a fur coat pic.twitter.com/aV6YI18igY
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) September 9, 2020
Stag beetle vs giant robot stag beetle - GO! pic.twitter.com/WF71uC305S
— ModernDinosaurAttacks 🦉 (@ModDinoAttacks) September 7, 2020
Show and Tell 9/11/20
Are you feeling down? Isolated? Uncertain about the future? Worried about what comes next? Then you may be suffering from... consciousness
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) September 9, 2020
I never want to hear another bad word about cultural practices of the Aztecs, the Egyptians, the Celts etc now that we have "a pyrotechnical celebration of fetal genitalia burned down 100k acres in 2020" in our history books.
— G. Willow Wilson (@GWillowWilson) September 8, 2020
has anyone done this yet pic.twitter.com/WzVAjEvTN8
— jonny sun (@jonnysun) September 9, 2020
Remember when Blue Valentine got an NC-17 rating instead of an R because it depicted a man going down on a woman despite the reverse being shown all the time in R-rated movies because I do https://t.co/8H1Mw9ZHBE
— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) September 9, 2020
Did we meet before #JeffGoldblum ? #JamminWithJeff one mo’ time Ladies and Gentlemen... pic.twitter.com/RoNKdsXfcK
— Sam Neill (@TwoPaddocks) September 9, 2020
I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING pic.twitter.com/R47n7rB8nW
— folkloremma ✨ (@shookswiftie) September 8, 2020
Show and Tell: Overflow Edition 9/11/20
LA weather for the next two months is Dune with a chance of Blade Runner.
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) September 10, 2020
Someone put Bladerunner 2049 music to drone footage of San Francisco and at first I didn’t know whether to be amazed or horrified. This is very much horrifying. pic.twitter.com/XQTv4qrE93
— Omar Jimenez (@OmarJimenez) September 10, 2020
Never let them know your next move. Watch until the end 😭🐐 pic.twitter.com/3F5qyLiu1h
— The Based Messiah (@bniceloco) September 4, 2020
jane fonda was saying this in the 70s while some celebrities only manage to say "gay rights" today pic.twitter.com/qsGQlAeepK
— milena (@sarahsbian) September 9, 2020
me to my serotonin pic.twitter.com/FJgqhimMTD
— aaron edwards (@aaronmedwards) September 10, 2020
Captain Ahab, writing an email: I hope this finds you, whale
— Danny Caine (@MisterCaine) September 9, 2020
World: *on fire*
— Rich "Loves his job, hates the cops" Posert (@PlethoraChutney) September 9, 2020
Pandemic: *unabated*
Fascism: *rising*
My boss: how's data analysis going
Show and Tell: Coronavirus Edition 9/11/20
2020 FUN QUIZ:
— Adam Conover (@adamconover) September 10, 2020
Is my splitting headache & sore throat caused by:
1) The pandemic running unchecked through our community
2) Smoke from the nearby massive wildfires
3) The record smog blanketing our city
4) The knowledge that our society is failing its most basic duties towards us
The United States government announces it will stop COVID-19 screenings of international travelers from certain countries starting Monday. https://t.co/8D1LnkUSzA
— ABC News (@ABC) September 10, 2020
Me in late Feb. trying to look on the bright side of the pandemic pic.twitter.com/ZkFuO1Vl34
— Bill Corbett (@BillCorbett) September 10, 2020
I recently spent the day on a film set to observe stringent new COVID-19 safety protocols in action. Here's what I learned. 🧵 https://t.co/bAfJwqxXe3
— Matt Donnelly (@MattDonnelly) September 10, 2020
Ukrainian church leader who called Covid-19 "God's punishment" for same-sex marriage tests positive for virus https://t.co/BIRi4VKLjk
— CNN (@CNN) September 10, 2020
I think about this guy a lot: the director of a majority-Black nursing home took early measures to prepare for a pandemic because he heard Trump say in February that there'd soon be zero cases and just figured that was going to turn out to be bullshit. https://t.co/FNyTnV6Zuk pic.twitter.com/hjgqDAMsKr
— Ethan Grey (@_EthanGrey) September 10, 2020
Teacher goes to school for a week of teacher in-person training. Diagnosed Friday, and died Monday from #COVID19 — she was just 28. https://t.co/eaTPQfe7HN
— Eric Feigl-Ding (@DrEricDing) September 10, 2020
I'm 46 and had a fairly mild/average case of Covid in March. I was just diagnosed with post Covid onset Glaucoma. This didn't have to happen.
— Diana Berrent (@dianaberrent) September 10, 2020
the way we're treating this pandemic is like if people were already "over" 9/11 on 9/12. people are still dying, so much is terrifying/unknown, but people are like "eh i'm bored" & news channels are like "we're sick of covering this" even tho nothings changed. wtf are we doing rn
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) September 10, 2020
Multipurpose Room 9/11/20
Blinded By the Light 9/11/20
Check for new blinds on Mondays at Billy Masters (if there is a blind in this week's column, there is a big red question mark to the right of it).
Check for new blinds on Fridays at Popbitch.
Check for new blinds sporadically at All About the Tea, Bossip, Lainey Gossip, Naughty Gossip, Page Six, Perez Hilton, Sandra Rose, Tamara Tattles, and TV Line.
You can also follow DeuxMoi on Instagram to get your trashy blind item fix (the account is private, so you have to request to follow them).
Early Bird Special 9/11/20
Thursday, September 10, 2020
Show and Tell: Part Deux 9/10/20
So, well, happy anniversary to this cursed tweet. https://t.co/gUXoJPGXda
— 💀 damned sinker 💀 (@dansinker) September 8, 2020
"i like ur personality" thanks i adjusted it so you'd like me
— g åby ੈ♡˳ (@g6byy) September 7, 2020
Sculpture of a Victorian ghost emerging from an antique mirror cast in resin. pic.twitter.com/5UMPH4zLAP
— 𝔙𝔞𝔪𝔭𝔦𝔯𝔞 (phobos 11/09) (@Draculasswife) September 7, 2020
Adam and Eve:
— RUTH BUZZI (@Ruth_A_Buzzi) September 8, 2020
The first people to ignore Apple terms and conditions.
if i were shania twain, i would tweet “let’s go girls” every single morning for the rest of my life
— Liz Maupin (@LizMaupin) September 7, 2020
Kitten discovering that he has feet pic.twitter.com/Qwlb2Sgu3o
— Welcome To Nature (@welcomet0nature) September 7, 2020
To the Popeyes’ employee who has thrown an extra tender in my box for the second time this week:
— G (@_GlNA) September 7, 2020
I plead the blood of Jesus of you and your family’s life. Your steps are ordered and He sees how you’re going over and above at your current position. Your breakthrough is on the way.
Show and Tell 9/10/20
when you make your coffee at home pic.twitter.com/opnz7mMcuy
— juan vidal (@itsjuanlove) September 8, 2020
"My back hurts all the time for no reason."
— Knixx (@Knishkabob) September 7, 2020
How I sit every day: pic.twitter.com/E8W9PDfYSc
I want us to normalize “I cannot work today because I am not in the mental space to engage with others” and that be okay
— Mrs. Grotke (@__BHB__) September 8, 2020
There’s really no place on the planet like NY 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/8vnSCoNL7k
— Wayno (@Wayno119) September 8, 2020
My sister got a net to keep the dog in the back seat but she does not accept pic.twitter.com/LKFlOqBSBL
— scythe holder (@metal_crab) September 7, 2020
when i was 22 i dated a guy who was 27 who broke up w me because we were “just at different places in our lives” and then he told me “for example i have to stretch every morning”
— steph mccann (@steph_mcca) September 8, 2020
Show and Tell: World on Fire Edition 9/10/20
This is nuts. Downtown Stayton at 12:22pm. Be safe, everyone. #KGW #Oregon #Fire #Smoke #LionsheadFire @KGWNews pic.twitter.com/ff4MKKU4qm
— Christine Pitawanich (@CPitawanichKGW) September 8, 2020
Its almost like.. we should not only talk about climate change but actively pursue environmental justice??? https://t.co/wG0oAMh2qg
— odd (@raw__beans) September 9, 2020
San Francisco this morning — normally hills are visible in the distance pic.twitter.com/PNX9j0HOdx
— Nils Gilman (@nils_gilman) September 9, 2020
People really don’t know what to do right now. Everyone on the Embarcadero is stopping to record the sky and chit chatting in a way I haven’t seen since pre-pandemic @sfchronicle pic.twitter.com/ueKQ4g7WTD
— Jessica Christian (@jachristian) September 9, 2020
San Francisco 09.09.20 pic.twitter.com/QdqUtKiqOT
— Zneha (@mithrilmaker) September 9, 2020
I hate being "what if national media covered California like they cover New York" guy, but if the sky looked like this in Brooklyn there would already be 142 essays and 17 commissioned TV specials about "our orange tomorrow" or whatever. https://t.co/4RZLimsqz7
— Kevin Roose (@kevinroose) September 9, 2020
As if flying wasn’t currently surreal enough — view leaving the Bay Area this morning. Cabin smelled like a campfire as we ascended through. pic.twitter.com/Ki5d3Zddln
— Sarah Karlan (@SkarSkarSkar) September 9, 2020
Show and Tell: Coronavirus Edition 9/10/20
If you can see my leg hair that means you aren’t social distancing and I’m going to need you to back up
— Kaylee Bryant (@BryantmKaylee) September 9, 2020
Exactly. pic.twitter.com/kmqweF4z8N
— Rebekah McKendry, PhD (@RebekahMcKendry) September 8, 2020
Emails show HHS official trying to muzzle Fauci
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) September 9, 2020
Emails obtained by POLITICO show a top aide at the department dictating what the nation's top infections disease expert should say during media interviews. https://t.co/Crxa7uvTVV
So how was everyone's summer? Mine was great!
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) September 9, 2020
*turns to stare at a different wall for a while*
Re: the "bad college students throwing parties" finger-wagging: Is there a reason why we expected a bunch of teenagers who've never resided outside their family homes to immediately master a monastic life of self-reflection, seclusion, and study?
— Jennifer Morrow (@jenniferemorrow) September 8, 2020
Our COVID19 numbers compared to the rest of the world look a lot like our gun violence numbers compared to the rest of the world. pic.twitter.com/ueF2u4Op4q
— Barry Schapiro, MD, FAAOS (@bschapiroMD) September 8, 2020
Gay guys who refused to wear condoms were called a lot of things in 1987 but "brave" wasn't one of them. https://t.co/TAcduzTRQE
— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) September 9, 2020
L.A. County Cancels Halloween Trick Or Treating Due to COVID https://t.co/o6KU1tfRyI
— TMZ (@TMZ) September 9, 2020
Are we going to do this every three months until everyone's dead pic.twitter.com/amZMrR1YZE
— internet h*ppo (@InternetHippo) September 9, 2020
Dentists Are Seeing an Epidemic of Cracked Teeth. What’s Going On? https://t.co/rHQbyGnZmb
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) September 9, 2020
https://t.co/P0k5KDqtZq pic.twitter.com/AiJYDjbXUI
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) September 8, 2020
Mutlipurpose Room 9/10/20
Blinded By the Light 9/10/20
Check for new blinds on Mondays at Billy Masters (if there is a blind in this week's column, there is a big red question mark to the right of it).
Check for new blinds on Fridays at Popbitch.
Check for new blinds sporadically at All About the Tea, Bossip, Lainey Gossip, Naughty Gossip, Page Six, Perez Hilton, Sandra Rose, Tamara Tattles, and TV Line.
You can also follow DeuxMoi on Instagram to get your trashy blind item fix (the account is private, so you have to request to follow them).
Early Bird Special 9/10/20
Wednesday, September 9, 2020
Show and Tell: Part Deux 9/9/20
End times. pic.twitter.com/LUFUoBXIrw
— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) September 7, 2020
Sometimes I think about how Willy Wonka sent those chocolate bars INTERNATIONAL and still 5 white kids managed to win the golden tickets pic.twitter.com/7FZk60WQV4
— You’re dying for it (@arondotcom_) September 6, 2020
I've spent more time with plants than I have with people this year
— Karen Attiah (@KarenAttiah) September 6, 2020
this cat apparently HATES the dog that lives at his house but loves my dog so much and it gives me a sick amount of pleasure pic.twitter.com/K5T7YUkklw
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) September 7, 2020
Actual photos of me reading the giant neverending menu at Cheesecake Factory... pic.twitter.com/8EKkHZ161e
— Jake Lobin (@JakeLobin) September 6, 2020
when it's a pandemic but it's still spooky season https://t.co/2Dz7BTcWXL
— amandab 🔜🎃 (@continuants) September 6, 2020
Keep thinking about something @zachheltzel tweeted a few weeks ago. We’ve lost an entire year of our lives. A year. If makes me so sad.
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) September 6, 2020
Show and Tell 9/9/20
i don't hate being single i hate not being in a power couple
— ziwe (@ziwe) September 6, 2020
IM CRYINGGGGG😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/hI7HyhySi7
— s*ddest a*gel (@th3saddestangel) September 6, 2020
i know a witch when i see one https://t.co/h6ub9rWBGu
— enyol (@engxl) September 5, 2020
Do you know who her dad is https://t.co/Jrzk6ngBGD
— eee fuckin sik (@alyadrinne) September 6, 2020
Doing cardio while listening to the Dracula audiobook is as me as it gets
— Kat Dennings (@OfficialKat) September 7, 2020
is new zealand like a tiny wholesome village wtf is going on over there ? https://t.co/QOc1YIUb3E
— hasanabi (@hasanthehun) September 7, 2020
Show and Tell: Overflow Edition 9/9/20
That’s a series wrap on gender reveal parties! https://t.co/m4bxQ9PdpA
— dan levy (@danjlevy) September 7, 2020
How has this happened twice pic.twitter.com/ku29giNgOq
— Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) September 7, 2020
Me when I get ten emails in a minute at work pic.twitter.com/aMNjqawvzp
— Christopher (@youngbuckeen) September 7, 2020
I know you can be a fish monger or a war monger but can you mong anything besides fish and war
— Rumaan Alam (@Rumaan) September 7, 2020
People with no ac using they fan pic.twitter.com/ZFpRWAkFcR
— jay (@jaymsazo) September 7, 2020
Find a happy place, Find a Happy Place, FIND A MOTHERFUCKING HAPPY PLACE pic.twitter.com/SWu27PD3Rc
— Zelda Williams (@zeldawilliams) September 7, 2020
Show and Tell: Coronavirus Edition 9/9/20
Literally no one:
— Ej Dickson (@ejdickson) September 8, 2020
Influencers: I’ve just tested positive for COVID even though I was super careful and just went to the Hamptons and ate at restaurants and went to a wedding and a party thrown by a swimwear brand and
The longer I’m outside the US the more upset I am about America’s response to covid. It really didn’t have to be this bad.
— Camilla Blackett (@camillard) September 8, 2020
universities rushing to get students back on campus so they can collect enough tuition money to remain in business: https://t.co/iCq3GfwC6w
— m (@mary__retta) September 7, 2020
We estimate that over 250,000 of the reported cases between August 2 and September 2 are due to the Sturgis Rally. Roughly 19 percent of the national cases during this timeframe. https://t.co/6tCCV6aXYf
— Andrew Friedson (@FriedsonAndrew) September 6, 2020
So basically America has adapted to working, living, operating in A WHOLE PANDEMIC. I’m guilty of this also, but it just hit me, that we made living with Covid-19 our new normal instead of trying to get rid of it completely like other countries have done.. our minds are so warped
— Chan The Filmmaker (@chancsmith_) September 7, 2020
Multipurpose Room 9/9/20
Blinded By the Light 9/9/20
Check for new blinds on Mondays at Billy Masters (if there is a blind in this week's column, there is a big red question mark to the right of it).
Check for new blinds on Fridays at Popbitch.
Check for new blinds sporadically at All About the Tea, Bossip, Lainey Gossip, Naughty Gossip, Page Six, Perez Hilton, Sandra Rose, Tamara Tattles, and TV Line.
You can also follow DeuxMoi on Instagram to get your trashy blind item fix (the account is private, so you have to request to follow them).
Early Bird Special 9/9/20
Tuesday, September 8, 2020
Deep Thoughts 9/8/20
Show and Tell: Part Deux 9/8/20
Can’t fool me that is Anne Hathaway pic.twitter.com/wOY6C42o0T
— Jason Acab Katzenstein (@JasonAdamK) September 3, 2020
Not all chihuahuas are truly chihuahuas. The real ones come ONLY from the Chihuahua region in Mexico. The rest are just sparkling dogs.
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) September 4, 2020
wholesome beef pic.twitter.com/PfJBi4oEMS
— BBC Three (@bbcthree) May 1, 2018
tfw you ask your mum for a traditional recipe pic.twitter.com/xxWhIlegt7
— Roj Amedi (@Roj_Ame) September 3, 2020
Now what shall I do with this big boy celery pic.twitter.com/OoZq2kkwVv
— gerald stratford (@geraldstratfor3) September 4, 2020
Things always seem terrible around here, but yesterday my daughter saw her first waterfall and I got to watch her face. pic.twitter.com/Yn9MAd9hG2
— Lisa Fleisher (@lisafleisher) September 4, 2020
Nothing says "summer 2020" like eating a ripe peach over the kitchen sink while ugly crying
— Padma Lakshmi (@PadmaLakshmi) September 6, 2020
Show and Tell 9/8/20
This is a lot https://t.co/nKYGMTAVov pic.twitter.com/iRktpiq8UR
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) September 6, 2020
Everybody stop doom scrolling and look at this picture of a baby goat wearing an extremely fashionable turtleneck sweater pic.twitter.com/vhXixvoSuO
— Nerd Girl Says (@Rachael_Conrad) September 5, 2020
Here I am again with Sonnet 128. #ASonnetADay pic.twitter.com/NC0oyYFXTP
— Patrick Stewart (@SirPatStew) September 6, 2020
Sam Neill being equal parts suave, literate, and horny is a real 2020 mood https://t.co/6yQ713iy8o
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) September 5, 2020
July 1991 Coolometer pic.twitter.com/1M1dz9KKFt
— Greg A. (@garaujo1) September 5, 2020
dad has been standing in the same spot watching Mission Impossible 2 for the last 30 minutes or so lmao pic.twitter.com/f8tFj5BbcI
— no puppet, no puppet (@randal1211) September 5, 2020
Show and Tell: Overflow Edition 9/8/20
keto people be like that’s my emotional support 15 hard boiled eggs
— charlie roebuck (@eggshellfriend) September 5, 2020
Sure he did https://t.co/OqoAtdGto9
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) September 6, 2020
Your regular reminder that extremely expensive moisturizers are completely unnecessary. CeraVe or Cetaphil will do the job just fine. Designer moisturizers (example: Chanel) often have a lot of fragrance and can cause allergic reactions.
— Roxana Daneshjou MD/PhD (@RoxanaDaneshjou) September 6, 2020
Oh MY GOD
— Reb Day (@reb_day) September 6, 2020
My housemate has just revealed to me that for the past MONTH he’s been taking notes of all the things I say to myself whilst playing GTA ...
and turning them into Rupi Kaur poems pic.twitter.com/gIEpTvTrEi
geniunely did not know "session singers" was a thing ?? i knew some of these artists were liars smh pic.twitter.com/w3blUPs7Cu
— angel (@thedivineangeI) September 5, 2020
If every straight man was packing like Smokey the Bear there would be world peace https://t.co/e6wtcjq3Lb
— eli? no. elus ✨ (@jazz_inmypants) September 6, 2020
“if I could play devils advocate for a second” dude just let me talk to the devil himself u are so annoying
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) September 5, 2020
Show and Tell: Coronavirus Edition 9/8/20
The state of Florida has told local health officials not to release coronavirus data about public schools. https://t.co/wZ23pvlkz9
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) September 4, 2020
Thread:
So as a few of you will know, I got COVID in April. I downplayed how bad it actually was at the time because I didn't want people worrying about me.
— Lindsay Broadwell 🌹🏳️🌈 (@LindsayPB) September 4, 2020
I'm starting to think that was a mistake.
A FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT YOU DO NOT NEED TO POST A FULL INSTAGRAM STORY SERIES, COMPLETE WITH TAGGING YOUR FRIENDS, THAT YOU ARE IGNORING CDC GUIDELINES, NOT WEARING A MASK, AND GOING ON A FULL BLOWN GROUP VACATION DURING A PANDEMIC
— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) September 5, 2020
It looks like USA will overtake Italy in per capita Covid deaths (or rather official per capita Covid deaths) in a few days. We've been inured to Covid news but this is remarkable and shocking.
— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) September 7, 2020
According to Instagram the pandemic is over. Congratulations everyone. I guess we did it.
— Natasha Rothwell (@natasharothwell) September 7, 2020
I hope clubs continue with drink bags post-corona, it would probably help to prevent a lot of drink spiking https://t.co/dobDxlwrtk
— Kai (@kaiseyo) September 6, 2020
wear a mask at fast food drive thrus! i went to sonic tonight & when the carhop came to my car, i paused to put on my mask before i rolled down the window. in an exhausted, sad tone, she said “thank you for putting on the mask. most people today haven’t and it makes me nervous”
— my name is literally stephen king (@alsostephenking) September 5, 2020
Senegal has 24 hour tests readily available, temp screenings at every store, and no fighting over masks (they can’t believe we argue over this).https://t.co/5k1BpzO5Qs
— Ian Bassin (@ianbassin) September 7, 2020
Not an American TikTok-er crying about bringing covid to a developing country and not being able to smoke weed! 😭 https://t.co/k7MW6HldV4
— Camilla Blackett (@camillard) September 7, 2020
Multipurpose Room 9/8/20
Blinded By the Light 9/8/20
Check for new blinds on Mondays at Billy Masters (if there is a blind in this week's column, there is a big red question mark to the right of it).
Check for new blinds on Fridays at Popbitch.
Check for new blinds sporadically at All About the Tea, Bossip, Lainey Gossip, Naughty Gossip, Page Six, Perez Hilton, Sandra Rose, Tamara Tattles, and TV Line.
You can also follow DeuxMoi on Instagram to get your trashy blind item fix (the account is private, so you have to request to follow them).
Early Bird Special 9/8/20
Monday, September 7, 2020
Deep Thoughts 9/7/20
If you still want to do it, I was thinking of scheduling it for Halloween (Saturday, October 31st), since that day's kind of a wash this year due to social distancing. That way you could submit just a regular pic or yourself, or a pic of yourself in costume during any past Halloween in your life.
Let me know your thoughts, or if you have another idea that catches on!
XOXO,
Outtie
Show and Tell: Part Deux 9/7/20
Making a reservation at Olive Garden when the vaccine drops pic.twitter.com/4fCurI2MQw
— ben "limited breadsticks" flores (@limitlessjest) September 4, 2020
I've invented baby curling pic.twitter.com/tTSCm8l1U1
— Alex Fitzpatrick (@AlexJamesFitz) September 4, 2020
men on Tinder be like “6’2 cause APPARENTLY that matters... but it doesn’t matter to ME, I’m not shallow like that... but I still listed it so YOU know I’m 6’2... you care about my height, not me... god you bitches are all the same”
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) September 6, 2020
I want to workout, eat healthy, and be in great shape. But also in a very real sense I do not want to do any of that.
— Kevín (@KevOnStage) September 6, 2020
Enjoy this video of a kitten’s 3rd attempt to jump on the counter. pic.twitter.com/EEbuIm9GGl
— Akki (@akkitwts) September 5, 2020
nothing will ever top this pic.twitter.com/heoiZzquw3
— ivan (@heckingmexican) September 5, 2020
Show and Tell 9/7/20
Jack calls bullshit. pic.twitter.com/3cPPA666yC— Richard Marx (@richardmarx) September 3, 2020
trying to hear what my friends are laughing about in the backseat of the lyft because they made me sit up front with the driver https://t.co/6XDPoFkf6x— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) September 3, 2020
I don’t know who needs to hear this but fuck you you’re wrong— billy eichner (@billyeichner) September 3, 2020
Zoom preschool is both hilarious and depressing. My 4 year old keeps unmuting himself and yelling 'I DON'T KNOW YOUR NAME! IS THIS MEETING OVER YET?'— Alexis Diao (@meowdiao) September 2, 2020
omg i’m so obsessed with her voice pic.twitter.com/rBjhF138WG— Isa (@MariahsTats) September 2, 2020
“Shoes” was a cultural reset and “Masks” should be another 😂 pic.twitter.com/MOupIWWWal— Barnacle Boy (@SouthernSatyr) September 1, 2020
was not expecting this from my chem professor but i’m also not complaining pic.twitter.com/zR8lSn18Km— 𝚌𝚊𝚒𝚝𝚕𝚢𝚗 ☾☆彡 (@kawaiitlyn) September 1, 2020
Show and Tell: Overflow Edition 9/7/20
do you think my boyfriend's cat massage parlor is gonna take off? pic.twitter.com/5FL9wTPmGq— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) September 5, 2020
sooo i *did **a ***thing....
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) September 4, 2020
*have
**done
***nothing
— devon sawa (@DevonESawa) September 5, 2020
Oh my Lord. This girl wrote out my entire PARKS AND REC Star Wars filibuster on a chalk wall. WOW. pic.twitter.com/hUPSlUQrfT
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 5, 2020
I love this @SarahMaslinNir @WhitneyCummings https://t.co/DZ5CkfREoW pic.twitter.com/Me9aPLM5hO
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) September 5, 2020
I want a My Best Friends Wedding sequel where Kimmy and Michael are getting divorced, Micheal thinks it’s finally time for him to be with Julia, but SHE is getting married!
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) September 5, 2020
Show and Tell: Coronavirus Edition 9/7/20
The struggle is real. It takes a lot of work to remember I’m not being weirdly antisocial. https://t.co/15zPmq5GcI
— Saeed Jones (@theferocity) September 6, 2020
Really not excited about seeing all the pics and videos of people doing it up on Labor Day weekend, dragging us deeper into this pit of disease & adding months to our eventual recovery.
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) September 5, 2020
Not even five hours apart pic.twitter.com/9JrUSA1TDH
— Zach Frank (@Zach__Frank) September 5, 2020
Summer fun! 🏖❤️ (*private island all tested negative multiple times wear a mask❤️) pic.twitter.com/2sjYxmjzbA
— Harry Hill (@veryharryhill) September 5, 2020
As the story makes clear, none of the three deaths were individuals who attended the wedding.
— Steve Vladeck (@steve_vladeck) September 5, 2020
It’s not just about whether you’re willing to take chances; it’s about whether you’re willing to take chances on behalf of everyone with whom you *might* subsequently come into contact. https://t.co/crtKMzADT4
OH GOD I HAVE COVID WAIT ISN’T IT RAGWEED SEASON: a memoir
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 5, 2020
I’m at a loss for words.
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) September 5, 2020
This is setting us back so far... https://t.co/l36ARqTPVo
This the best thing on the internet this week pic.twitter.com/rWrIykpURs
— Charles H.F. Davis III (@hfdavis) September 4, 2020
Multipurpose Room 9/7/20
Blinded By the Light 9/7/20
Check for new blinds on Mondays at Billy Masters (if there is a blind in this week's column, there is a big red question mark to the right of it).
Check for new blinds on Fridays at Popbitch.
Check for new blinds sporadically at All About the Tea, Bossip, Lainey Gossip, Naughty Gossip, Page Six, Perez Hilton, Sandra Rose, Tamara Tattles, and TV Line.
You can also follow DeuxMoi on Instagram to get your trashy blind item fix (the account is private, so you have to request to follow them).
Early Bird Special 9/7/20
Dr. Dre's soon-to-be ex-wife Nicole Young is requesting $2 million *per month* in temporary spousal support.
John Legend thinks that Jason Momoa should be People Magazine's next Sexiest Man Alive (duh).
Brie Larson reveals audition process for Captain Marvel, also which roles she lost out on.