Friday, February 20, 2015

What's In The Oscar Gift Bag?

Even if you don't win an oscar, you can go home a winner! Select nominees will be the proud recipients of this year's Oscar's gift bag, worth a reported $150,000. Page Six has the rundown of the contents:

  • $249.99: Haze vaporizer
  • $14,584: Rocky Mountaineer luxury rail trip through the Canadian Rockies
  • $5,000: “Couple’s Love Shot,” with the choice of an “orgasm shot” or penis-rejuvenation injection, from Dr. Charles Runels
  • $20,000: A year’s worth of Silvercar rentals (all-Audi fleet)
  • $1,500: Three nights at Villa Armena in Tuscany
  • $800: Customized candy and dessert buffet from Candy Vixen
  • $6,270: 10,000 meal donation of Halo Natural Pet Food from Freekibble.com to the shelter or rescue of choice (plus food for the celebrity’s own pet)
  • $5,000: Limited-edition signed print from artist Gunner Fox
  • $250: Afterglow Pulsewave Vibrator
  • $1,000: Broken Bones bicycle 
  • $4,068: Ventura Lipo-Light liposuction and fat reduction package
  • $20,000: Session with the founder of Enigma Life, Olessia Kantor, to discuss the nominee’s “2015 horoscope, analyze dreams and teach them mind-control techniques”
  • $25,000: Custom-designed piece of furniture from EF+Facto
  • $14,239: “Complete Lifestyle Makeover” from Reset Yourself, including a kitchen “detox” and an organic cooking session with a master chef
  • $280: Rouge maple syrup package
The Live Blog posts for the Oscars will begin going up on Sunday at 12pm PST.
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35 comments:

  1. UnknownFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:03 AM

    That's ridiculous, like they need it.

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  2. snookiemonsterFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:04 AM

    Give to the people who already have money. Brilliant!

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  3. kelliknowsFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:06 AM

    I wonder if the irs checks on these ..included in income..I'm sure they all take the pet food donation as a deduction (given in their name)

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    Replies
    1. ANounFebruary 20, 2015 at 11:02 AM

      I think five years ago or thereabouts, the IRS determined that swag bags and loot rooms were taxable income. Do they track it? I don't know. A lot of that sounds truly worthless to me.

      Delete
  4. MeanieRhysieFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:07 AM

    No way! Is this list for real?? Crazy!

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  5. ticklemyfancyFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:08 AM

    What's an "orgasm shot" and what makes it worth $5000 I wonder?

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  6. JessiFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:10 AM

    Ok, now these are some weird wacky gifts, which I am pretty sure is not real. $20,000 session (which I am guessing is one session on horoscope and mind control? Love shot? What the hell is that? You mean Orgasms come in liquid form? and a vibrator? and then just some syrup because why not! Good one Outtie.

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  7. FSPFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:11 AM

    Rail trip please.

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  8. SherryFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:13 AM

    So who exactly gets these gift bags? Certainly not everyone who attends the show. Just the winners? And there can be a lot of winners because we only see the popular part of the awards. And Yes Fancy,(you and are are soulmates today), what the fuck is an orgasm shot?

    That rail trip through the Canadian Rockies would be amazing..I love trains.

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  9. Gertie RausFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:14 AM

    A Haze vaporizer? Why give out the vape without the kind to go with it?

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  10. Krystie RachelleFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:14 AM

    People in Hollywood really must be dead inside if they need shots to renew orgasms.. Wtf.

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  11. Krystie RachelleFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:15 AM

    Do you think they actually use any of this? Or is it beneath them to use a free gift?

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  12. Lady HeisenbergFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:18 AM

    Because no one deserves free luxuries more than the elite rungs of the rich and famous!!

    Whatevaaaaaaaa

    The GShot scares the bajesus out of me ever since I read Margaret Cho's hilarious testimonial on it...

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    Replies
    1. UnknownFebruary 20, 2015 at 12:02 PM

      Ok Margaret Cho deserves mad props for that testimonial. I have a fully functioning "party" so no need, and I agree that scares the crap out of me! No thanks!

      Delete
  13. Now!February 20, 2015 at 8:22 AM

    Do you think the Oscars people even screen these products? They sound like the kind of stuff that used to be sold in small print in the back of magazines.

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  14. Rose LizenbergFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:26 AM

    I love how vibrator is just thrown in the middle there lol

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    1. discofluxFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:59 AM

      That made me cackle! I love it. But this is some ridiculous shit. I hope some of these people donate the majority of these item to a charity. Vibrators and plastic surgery not withstanding.

      Delete
  15. Seven of ElevenFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:27 AM

    A bike, liposuction, pecker rejuvenation, organic kitchen makeover, a $20k (hahahahaha) horoscope reading, a cruise ...

    This is not a gift bag, it's a giant joke. These people plunk down millions for rather maudlin homes, they don't need the "gift" of a kitchen makeover or cat food.

    From a fundraising perspective: the people who donate these things often pay a price for the privilege of donation. Like Ms $20k Horoscope Lady, who gets her name in front of a bunch of H'wood stars and their people - many of whom actually put stock in astrology and $cientology.

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:50 AM

    If ancient Rome had award shows, this is the sort of crap they'd have in a gift bag: self-indulgent and shallow. The only thing that's acceptable is the pet food donation. Hopefully, these self-absorbed jack wagons will take advantage of that. "I'd like to make my donation to the Paris Hilton designer Chihuahua refugee center."

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    Replies
    1. SherryFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:58 AM

      LOL KarenW!! Jack wagons and the refugee center are cracking me up.

      Delete
  17. ethorneFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:57 AM

    That reminds me, I have to go for my monthly penis rejuvenation shot.

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  18. auntliddyFebruary 20, 2015 at 9:21 AM

    What a bunch of pretentious crap, except for dog food donation. Whatever happened to rings, bracelets, watches, quilts, iphones?

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  19. Rose LizenbergFebruary 20, 2015 at 9:25 AM

    OK....looking at this list again, aside from the trip to Italy (yes, please) everything seems kind of like a bother. "Complete lifestyle makeover" sounds daunting and time-consuming. I reallllllly don't want to be stabbed in the dick with a needle. What the hell would I do with that much maple syrup?? No offense to my Canadian friends, but I have no desire to visit there - too much snow and I detest cold weather.

    Oh, the dog food thing is good though! I'd definitely use that.

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    Replies
    1. Tina MalletteFebruary 20, 2015 at 10:01 AM

      Hey no one said you had to go on the trip in the winter time we do have spring summer and fall, at which times the Rockies are gorgeous, I'd love that trip myself and the Maple Syrup, $280 that's a lot of maple syrup though I hope that included maple butter - one of the best experiences in my life on a high school trip to Quebec City, we stop a roadside food stand that has a huge outdoor kiln oven baking fresh bread and serving it with freshly made maple butter and it is seared into my sensory memory cells

      Delete
    2. KrissieFebruary 20, 2015 at 2:25 PM

      Actually real maple syrup is bloody expensive. It's not like the Aunt Jemima stuff. $280 wouldn't buy you nearly as much real maple syrup as you'd think it would.

      Although I'd like to think they're actually handing out bottles of Aunt Jemima at the Oscars.

      Delete
  20. UnknownFebruary 20, 2015 at 9:42 AM

    So...let me get this straight: the 2nd most expensive item on that list is the most worthless..... $20,000: Session with the founder of Enigma Life, Olessia Kantor, to discuss the nominee’s “2015 horoscope, analyze dreams and teach them mind-control techniques” Just because you SAY something is worth $20k doesn't make it true....

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  21. MinPinGirlFebruary 20, 2015 at 9:47 AM

    I know if I'm getting lipo, it's gonna be from a gift certificate that's in the same bag as an orasm shot, a vibrator and some maple syrup!

    ReplyDelete
  22. CantHaveMyPurseFebruary 20, 2015 at 9:54 AM

    The items on this list are cracking me up. A detoxes kitchen and a fortune teller reading dreams? Where are the Rolex watches? Where's the champagne? Where are the diamond tiaras and bracelets? If you're giving me $150,000 in prizes, at least make them interesting and something I'd want. Good grief!

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    Replies
    1. Tina MalletteFebruary 20, 2015 at 10:01 AM

      And something you could truly pawn or auction off on Ebay LOL

      Delete
  23. DenaFebruary 20, 2015 at 10:45 AM

    Never mind the people who are dying each day because they don't have clean water...these people need their vibrators and maple syrup.

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  24. UnknownFebruary 20, 2015 at 1:08 PM

    2015 Oscar night is sponsored by DEPENDS, for when you just gotta crap your pants for sitting still for t three tedious hours you'll never get back.

    ReplyDelete
  25. SusanBFebruary 20, 2015 at 1:27 PM

    Yeah, I'd be happy just to get the maple syrup.

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  26. AoifeFebruary 20, 2015 at 7:17 PM

    Maple Syrup?

    ReplyDelete

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