WOOHOO! Last day of reveals. Warning: you probably won't need to break out that giant tin of popcorn combo mix, they're pretty boring, but I'll do them one by one so you can snark on them, too.
So on to the reveals! (Remember, I am only posting reveals from CDaN and with attribution. BIs will come from other sites that don’t threaten Outtie like a whiny toddler mad that he threw his sippy cup in the toilet and it had to be disinfected.) No disclaimers today because they were mostly really short and I just commented.
First up for today: Simon Cowell gave up his harem for a month, but not this one special girl. Since Blind Gossip already had the “Demi Lovato and Simon Cowell, boom chicka wow wow” item on Foxella, we can consider that pre-solved.
Next up: Khloe Kardashian doesn’t like to share anything except her initials (and her men). Some guy gave her cocaine at a beach nightclub and then was following her like a puppy, so she went to the bathroom, inhaled it all, and gave the dude his vial back. I hope she didn’t do it off the toilet lid, that’s just gross. Do you think it was Billy Bob Thornton camped outside of the bathroom?
#3 is Tallulah Willis, fresh rehab and with a shaved head (she actually doesn’t look too bad!) is threatening to dish on her family (I hope there’s some good Ashton dirt!) and wants a reality show. It feels like one of those 10,000 times we’ve been told that a tell-all book that will blow the gossip world apart is being shopped and we never see the book.
Hey, kids, does everybody know what time it is? Suspending disbelief time!
In today’s reveal #4, Kim Jong Wrong* says that a madam is shopping a book (another book?!) that has 30 pages or describing the exploits of one Catherine Zeta Jones. So the assumption here is that CZJ was a prostitute in her youth who worked for the madam and the madam has allllll kinds of dirt. Except… CZJ went to dance school at the age of five, was a British tap-dancing champion at the age of 11, made her professional acting debut on-stage as the lead in Annie at 14, toured the United Kingdom with a theatre troupe at the age of 17, played with the English National Opera and had her film debut with a French director at the ripe old age of 21 before moving on to television and music. Yeah, she was hooking the whole time. The sun will come out toooomorrow, bet your bottom dollar (leave it on the dresser) it’s tomorrow! Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Leave a tip for me tomorrow! It’s only a pay awaaaaay!
*Name changed because Telly Savalas's head used to scare me
Six in the mix: Everyone's favorite drunk who is not Kiki but somehow managed to finagle an A-/B+ rating picked up a woman and would make out with her and presumably do other soft-core lesbian stuff when guys would buy her huge bottles of booze. This is so implausible that it’s laughable, but apparently some people who live in LA are used to superhero parades and sparkles when they buy expensive booze at a bar. Why would you buy the booze at a bar? Don’t they have liquor stores where Michelle Rodriguez was staying?
Lucky #7 is not so lucky. Serial cheater Frasier banged some lady in the recording booth the first time he guested on the Simpsons.
Man, I loved me some Frasier, still do. When he and David Hyde Pierce did Sideshow Bob and Cecil, it was perfect. Sad to hear he's a total dog. Daphne needs to smack with a rolled up newspaper.
Eight is another Simpsons reveal: professional poker lady Jennifer Tilly won’t get married again because her divorce settlement with Sam Simon (developer and Producer of The Simpsons) gave her millions and she doesn’t want to share. I guess probate lawyers don’t know what prenups are.
Why do they have to be so improbable? Like buying school buses instead of donating cash or buying a whole apartment building for homeless former nurses and getting them jobs at the Betty Ford Clinic.
Today, AnnaLynne VIP McChord “managed to squeeze $250k out of some very reluctant business people” so that she could build a halfway house for sex workers in an Asian country. “If they went back home, they would just be sold again.” Duh, that’s how the sex trade works in Asia. What isn’t answered is who pays the taxes and levies on the house/property? Who funds the staff and food and programs? How do the sex workers get out of the sex trade and into the house?
ALVM was a victim of sexual assault when she was younger and is a tireless advocate, so I think they just pulled this one out of the air based on the IChoose Campaign (http://www.ichoosecampaign.com/) that helps people find organizations to support that help fight sexual abuse globally. Since Cambodia is mentioned on their website, that’s probably where KJE got their idea. They could have at least linked to the iChoose website but then that’s a precious click lost!
OK #10: Harry Potter got plastered on a plane – 10 drinks and a bottle of wine. Has KJE ever seen a bottle of airplane wine? It’s like half a glass! That is what the French call amuse-bouche! So afterward he had to be helped off the plane, presumably to stagger into the bathroom Madonna style and come out completely sober because of the Magic Sober Pill.
Aside for a moment: the original comments were like a walk down memory lane. Everyone was talking about fake Iron Man and telling Sober Coach E* he was full of it because DanRad said he no longer drinks and his career did not have any “rough starts” after Harry Potter. Ah, the good ol’ days.
*Name changed because now I have "Snape, Snape, Serius Snape!" in my head
Elevensies: Julianne Hough wants to be one of the Bachelorettes. Enty Seacrest* says that it won’t be the first time she’s faked for money.
I've always said that I rather like Ryan Seacrest and his ugly duckling story. Then someone told me he's responsible for foisting the Kardashians upon us. I don't know how or why but I think that qualifies as some form of mental and emotional abuse. I also don't know why I always connect Julianne Hough and her brother with Ryan Seacrest. I do know that the tradition of eating hoppin' john on New Year's Day is supposed to bring you a year of good luck but often just brings you a day of listening to your roommates say "Excuse me" and "sorry about that" and "where's the air freshener?" all day.
Nooner! Rihanna dates rappers and other rappers while alternating between other rappers (what does that even mean?) but is quietly dating a married record exec who likes Christian country music (I think, maybe it’s opera) when she’s not dating Crazy Eyes DeLasagne. I don’t believe this because I can’t see RiRi doing ANYTHING quietly.
Ashton Kutcher calls it “relieving the pressure” but Mila probably won’t. What is “it”? Daily prostate exams? Ben and Jerry’s? Punk’d marathons? Watching GI Jane and crying when Aragorn tries to off Demi?
*Anyone watch House? I LOVE House. Hugh Laurie is a freaking genius. Anyway, Olivia Wilde, she of the amazing eyes, was on House and he never called her by her name. She was always 13. So when I get the Olivia’s confused, I just remember the pretty one is #13.
14 for Friday: Oh great, another Rita OreIda one. I swear, I feel like the French fry joke is about get freezer burnt. So Crinkle Cut is missing half the tracks on her latest release (huh?) and she told Jay-Z she’d take a bat to Elevator Terrorist Solange Knowles’s knees (she didn’t) but J can’t tick off Bey so he called his brother Kanye (hey, am I rapping? Go me!) because Mr Kim’s clothing line didn’t work out.
I have a friend whom I had plans to take out for dinner tonight for her up coming bday. The problem is she never texts me back regarding plans. She has never ditched me and I am not a wary wart but every single time we get together I text her a few days before to make sure everything is kosher but she never ever texts me back saying "yup sounds like a plan" I just got so fed up I left her a nasty text msg explaining how annoying that is. As I said she is a reliable person but I have expressed to her so many times that it irks me. A good example of this was when she was my date for a wedding but never reconfirmed and I felt left in the dark not knowing if I had a date till the last minute. It is always "relax D rock I said I am going blah blah blah" Do you think I am over reacting? I think I may have ended a friendship sadly.
Even if she is reliable, it is still irksome and rude to not answer. Just a quick response is needed in my humble opinion. I do have a friend that use to text non stop though, and I have learned to stop because if I respond I am caught up in a text conversation for the next hour.
***echooo*anyone anyone ---I know thats not glamorous like a blind item but I dont know how I feel about this scenario. Good friends are hard to find but she makes me feel shitty
opps sorry Jessi---posted before reading your post. Exactley though---it takes half a second to say yes see you Friday---and it is constant with her. Makes me feel dumb and suspicious of being the only one she does it to. Another problem is I am actually friends with her sister so it will be awkward when I see her next.
@Derek I know people that get mortally offended if I double check on upcoming plans with them. Since they are reliable, in their mind checking up on the plans implies that I think that they might flake, and they get super pissed. With other people, I have to check on them because they will flake if I don't. Different strokes for different folks.
Bottome line, good friends shouldn't make you feel shitty, but a great friend will forgive the occasional blowup :) Hope everything works out!
I don't think you are overreacting, I think it is normal #1 to get a confirmation that someone is available for an event esp when the plans were made a while ago and #2 I always usually follow up and one time I didn't the friend forgot, she had it in her mind that the concert was on Wednesday not Tuesday so from now on I'll never forget the reminder email/text, people get busy
Just apologize profusely and explain your need to have things confirmed, because then you can relax, and the reminder is a courtesy thing cause peeps get busy and at my age you start to forget things LOL
It is irksome, but how you deal with it depends on how you feel about the person. If this is just a casual or moderate friend then yeah, go ahead and let them now. But if it's someone you really feel strongly about and don't want to lose, then maybe you have to bite your tongue and accept that this person has a flaw you probably aren't going to be able to do anything about. One of my problems with friends is wanting them to be better people than they're capable of being, and I have to remember that I have my own flaws and quirks that piss people off too.
@derek, I have a friend like that. I love her to pieces but she'll say "I'll be there at 11.30" and I mentally set my alarm for 12.30 because every single time she's late and sometimes flakes out. But like I said, I love her dearly. You have to decide if your irritation about this behaviour weighs more than your affection for her and your friendship. And it really doesn't hurt to have a conversation and just tell her, "Hey, I love you, you're a wonderful friend and I'm trying to make some changes in the New Year - could you help me with something? I want to make sure that when I make plans, I'm firm with them so I don't flake out at the last minute or get panicky. So if we make plans together, could you do me a favor and remind me? Like hold me accountable?" Maybe by asking her to hold you accountable for time, it helps her to also be accountable for being firm with her commitment to your time.
I don't think that you are overacting and I am in the same boat as you now. I am waiting on hearing from my BFF now about tentative plans that we had for this weekend and unlike your friend, mine is unreliable. I have texted her 3 times today and not heard back from her. This sucks because I am home for the holidays and will be leaving the sunshine state soon to drive back home. I was hopeful to spend some time with her, but it's looking like that's not going to happen. The even shittier part about all of this is that she will eventually tell me that she was not feeling well this weekend and that she wanted to spend time with me while I was home, but I was too busy to make time for her.
Thanks for advice everyone. Sorry I am usually not one to spill my bizness out in public but feel very confused. and yall know me---I am a know-it-all in general so when I question myself its major lol---l am truly grateful to have found the posters here...
@Dolphy--ugh I have another friend like that but we avoid each other like the plague these days because I will flake on her knowing damn well she wont care.
Same here, @Derek! If I had a man, I certainly would not be sitting on my parent's couch brooding over not being able to hang out with my childhood bestie this weekend. I love that bitch to pieces, but her unwillingness to commit to plans really sucks sometimes.
yeah but we'd be brooding over much worse with a man lol ; ) I always get stuck with the liars and the dirty dirty cheats. I once dated a guy for 4 months to find out he was homeless! I am not saying anything bad about homeless people but everything that came outta his mouth was a lie!
I'm late to the discussion here but, Derek, if I tried to confirm plans with someone and they didn't respond, I would make other plans. If she shows up expecting to go out for dinner, perhaps she'll learn to be more courteous in future. That sort of rudeness is unacceptable.
super late to the discussion but I think it is super rude not to respond to someone checking on plans with you! I don't know how close you are but friends shouldn't treat you like that.
She sounds rude and self-absorbed - it takes two minutes to text a response. I have a family member like this who I've jumped on more than once (politely as well as more directly) ... in the end, it's easier just not to have them in your life. (But I'm a Scorpio, so pretty ruthless in that regard - people come and go; life is short - we're here for a good time, not a long time, so who wants to put up with any unnecessary crap?).
I don’t watch Dancing with the Stars but I do drink vodka so I’ll give it a shot. The Russian dude who always carries a suitcase full of cash everywhere he goes and apparently is a serial banger when he’s not making sure nobody puts Baby in a corner didn’t cheat on his former girlfriend Karina Smirnoff for 48 hours. (Did someone do roll call? Has anyone who might or might not have slept with that guy absent today? No? Good!) But he got home and broke his cheat-fast and she got mad and that’s why they are now former. I wonder if he got any complimentary vodka out of it.
OK, looks like they're taking a breather, so here's one from FOXELLA.COM.
He had some serious skeletons in his closet and she is discovering them all January 2, 2015 This A list mostly movie actress has been married for under a year but I don’t think they will make it to a year.
He had some serious skeletons in his closet and she is discovering them all.
Zoe Saldana Marco Perego
If that guess is right, it's totally wrong. They were married in 2013 and this being 2015, a year has most certainly passed.
Lena Dunham was trash talking her co-star Allison Williams and then saw her and was all, “Oh, I didn’t mean you, you’re faaaabbbb! I love you! Let’s go get Ben & Jerry’s and marathon our show! Remember the one where I got naked? No, not that one, silly, the other one. No, not that one!!”
This totally sounds like Lena. She's done things like this on Twitter, calling it edgy and dark humour. Please. George Carlin did it and he didn't (thankfully) have to take his clothes off and tell stories about his little sister's vagina.
behave Seven! lolll You KNOW GIRLS is brilliant---I feel like my little friend dilemma is going to be in season 4. and the chick I am complaining about is not even rad like Jessa haha
Also Lena has talent and so does Alison---they all do. I couldnt be friends with Lena---we are too much a like in some ways *minus the little sister thing!*
17: AngieJo’s dad has a date who carries a clutch the size of her still developing hormone schedule because Papa Jon is old enough to be the girl’s grandpa and somehow between the time she put on a short, tight dress, grabbed her clutch and phone, and toddled her way to the car, she didn’t realize the phone didn’t fit into the clutch, so she stowed it in her thong. Because no one would recognize the shape of a Hello Kitty iPhone through a short, tight skirt. So I’m guess it started buzzing because she had it on vibrate and she giggled, and with a twinkle in his grandfatherly eye, good ol’ Jon excused himself, reached under her skirt, and retrieved it – only to find it was on both vibrate AND ringtone, and it was set to the Hello Kitty ringtone! Meow, meow! Meow, meow! Jon winked and turned to answer. “This is Octopussy,” he said with a leer.
The Hammaconda skipped the Emmys because Jennifer cock-blocks him (I think I’m using that the right way). It’s dated August 26, 2014 and everyone guessed Live Schreiber. Know why?
Because Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt were at the 2014 Emmy Awards together. Who knew KJE was moonlighting as an extra on Pretty Little Liars?!
Oh, so then I re-read it and see that it’s worded in such way as to imply that Jon refuses to fly WITH Jennifer because the power of Hammaconda is you know, like a snake on a plane. Somebody call Samuel L Jackson!
That blind that is not a young Duggard but has a lot of filler
When 7 was a lass, it was her heart’s desire to become a teacher. Then she got a little older and a little bolder and discovered the fine art of discourse. This is a fancy way of saying a teenage 7 was extremely sassy and was encouraged by many (all) faculty and teachers to join the debate club, which she did, leading her to change her desired profession to that of a LAWYER. Like Atticus Finch, 7 would fight for social justice and defend the poor, and she’d get to do this while doing one of her favorite things: arguing! WIN WIN!
Unfortunately, 7 took pre-law and ran screaming. It is a dry and dusty subject and 7 had no stomach for the glamorous world of prosecution or public defense. So she became a smart aleck writer who still argues, just in columns where people can’t argue back. HAH! Wait, there are those damned letters to the editor…
Anyway, all of this to say that if KJE is a lawyer, he apparently has never heard of this little tome called Black’s Law Dictionary, 10th Edition, which defines prostitution as the act of granting a sexual favor (sexual favor being very specifically SEX, whether vaginal, oral, anal, or manual) in return for something of value (namely money). You know what is not prostitution? Lap dancing and stripping (thought it might be in Utah…). So when Michael Jordan was auditioning ladies who were in his lap to return to his room with him, he was not auditioning strippers. For the millionth time, he was auditioning potential prostitutes.
This blind about a drunk isn’t old enough to drink
So Leonard from Big Bang Theory is a meanie when he’s drunk and his lady dumped him because of it. Weird because his huge property out in Santa Monica has a vineyard on it. Does he go out there and get trashed Sideways style? Maybe he needs a non-feminist Kaley Cuoco to tame his wild ways.
Courtney Love is back on drugs, she walked up to a tourist sitting with his wife and started screaming at him for being the douche who dumped before she realized he wasn’t so she apologized and then did it again 20 minutes to someone else.
You know, for having two seriously whacked out parents, Frances Bean seems to pretty OK. Good for her. I sure wish I knew Enty’s fascination with people repeating things every 20 minutes, though. It’s always 20 minutes or 24 hours!
2. BLIND GOSSIP 01/01 This TV guy and his wife recently attended a party. While he is usually the center of attention for his willingness to dispense doctorly advice, the guests were instead focused on his wife. Her face looked different, as if she had recently received Botox and facial fillers. One of the guests commented on how pretty and youthful she looked. While the wife declined to name the exact procedures that had changed her face, she freely shared the motivation behind her beauty procedures with the group: "I have to do everything possible to keep up my looks… because all the ladies who meet [my husband] want to suck his dick!" Dr. Phil (Robin)
This one made me chuckle ---I dont read nor comment on Blind Gossip because it is too pedestrian for me but I hate Dr. Phil and his wife sucks
I think I can say with all honesty that I have never ever not even for one second ever thought about doing anything related to Dr. Phil's cock. Uhm...just no.
You know the old saying “you lose ‘em how you got ‘em”? Well, Sexiest Beanpole Alive Adam Levine apparently introduced Blake Half-Ewok Shelton to a lingerie model and Blake immediately lost his head (the one upstairs), despite the fact that wife Miranda is preggers (I think). Blake was only married 18 months to his first wife when he lost his head over Miranda and got himself a right quick d-i-v-o-r-c-e.
I’ve never watched anything but a clip or two of Adamsleeves on The Voice but a lot of people say Blake is smarmy. If this is true, yeah, that’s smarmy, all right.
Gyms suck. I went daily for a year. Was doing the same thing with no results. Trainers there were more interested in texting than helping. I've seen them eat while working with clients! Got a private trainer - worked out of her home. Was much better. Just call me Miley.
I go to two different gyms. We're from the same city...I go to a super swanky one on the downtown core that the view is so stunning you literally forget how much your abs are killing and how much your sweating....and all the trainers are very easy on the eyes
I have been doing some youtube work outs----The thing is I HATE weight training---when I lift a weight a concsious in my mind is saying "this sucks and there is no need" and it is always heavy---I feel really good after but that only lasts like 10 minutes
@Jason, I've never worked with a trainer, I just look. I just know how my body works and what machines to use and how to confuse the diff muscle groups to get results (no more then 2 mins on each muscle then switch it up) etc
@Gina--if its the one on Adelaide I had a job interview there once --I declined though. No I dont wanna serve hot people green juice all day for 10 bucks an hour.
I went to one in the upper part of a mall so all we saw was mall roof and sky. Below it was a Bed Bath & Beyond and workers there told me all you heard all day long was the "thunk" of weights dropping on their ceiling.
@Derek, I only do ankle/wrist weights when I go for a run, mainly cause I have zero desire to be ripped like a man (and to use as protection lol early morning downtown runs can be scary)
yeah like I said I do exercise when I can---I love a good 2 hour walk with my ipod and do it a few times a week---it is the Winter though ---ugh--you understand--I get worried that I will wake up and turn into a fatty!
Gina - I did work with one trainer - female. For some reason I get along better with females in these types of situations. And I wanted someone that would concentrate on me and not stare at fit babes for the whole hour. She was Ok. Spent one session telling me how the guy she was seeing took her to see one of those Expendables movies and she hated it. Wanted me to sign up for a 7,000 training contract. I was like "Nah-unh. You're cute but not that cute."
Everything counts Derek :) and don't fret, even people who are comatose depending on their BMR and height and weight, will burn anywhere from 800-1500 calories a day. You'll be okay :)
Kylie Minogue has really, really, REALLY bad luck with guys. One of them even pulled a Rush Limbaugh and left her while she was in chemo! So ValENTYno decides to pour salt into the wound and say that the few guys she’s dated since then have been for show and even they cheated, so she gave up. You stay Klassy there, Kupid!
Speaking of cheaters, I was at Costco yesterday and who do I see in line for one of those giant floppy slices of 800 calorie pizzas? This guy who is on our local TV station all the time hawking his personal training services and talking about crap diets. Dude, order in!
So Jack Sparrow figured out Amber Never HeardofHer is cheating. She’s getting an award for something that is not acting (there are Fame Ho awards? I thought KimK raked all those in!) and Depp is pretending he has a tooth whitening procedure that day.
I liked Johnny and Angie in The Tourist. It felt like one of those older films, like Rene Russo and Pierce Brosnan in The Thomas Crown Affair. And Angie’s accent was flawless, not to mention her wardrobe. Sigh. To be rich and famous, that is my Christmas wish.
Kid Rock was really nice to a homeless guy who had flipped out and was yelling at people. He sat him down on a bus bench (no reports of a sobbing Selma Blair in the vicinity), talked him down, then gave him a few hundred bucks and a ride to a mission.
It’s always interesting to me how they know these really specific details that are reported nowhere else. Like no paps caught the very recognizable Kid Rock being harassed by a guy who looks Nick Nolte and then giving him a few hundreds after a man-to-man (“Dude, you can’t be running in the street like that!” “Oh, thank you, Kid Rock, you saved my life! Can you take me to a mission so I can turn it all back around?!”) and then gave the dude a lift to the mission. (Mission?)
Even though I don't believe how this blind was written, I have heard that Kid Rock is very good to his fans. (And certainly not how Seven presented it, how KJE wrote it!)
Glinda the Good Witch’s career might be Pushing Up Daisies if she keeps trying to be such an attention hog and pretending to be sick, in a relationship, and/or injured.
I read a couple of days ago that NBC (I think) is going to bring Kristin and Idina back to do a live action Wicked on TV ala Peter Pan and Sound of Music. I cannot wait! It’s about time they got the brilliant idea of hiring actual Broadway-trained singers/actors/dancers and not Vampire Beeelll and the winner of American Idol.
I feel bad for Johhny T ---he reminds me of all the married guys that hit on me and I have to say " NO. You are a nice looking guy but just NOOOOO" I just wish he would take one for the team........You were in Grease and SPulp Fiction and Saturday Night Fever FFSakes
Anyway Folks, before the ex flies back to the other side of the country, he coming over to watch the hockey game so I must so put very little effort (ya right) into how I look and then be disappointed when he leaves for another 524 months *sigh* lol Have a good night!
oh when Rowdy wrote another one of his 4 paragraphs monologues *trust me I dont read them either* your exact words were "we dont discuss that around here" -------So........................................................
Wtf? First of all, my EXACT words were, we don't keep tabs on eachothers love lives....SECOND who wrote that "She brags" shit?! I most certainly did NOT see that comment, you Derek? Rowdy?
I am definetly NOT Rowdy---just sayin check your-self befor you disrespect someone ----if someone wants to to talk about something out-loud around here--IMHO that is awesome. However, You were totally rude saying that. It is going to be freezing rain so be safe and such.
Please Derek, I don't owe you or anyone explanations about SHIT. And if YOU or ANYONE ELSE reading this has an issue with me, you're free to speak you're mind. And I DIE laughing...my book, I brought up ONCE in a BOOK post. According to you, VIP, Sugar and yourself all take issue with it. Have yourself a great night Derek.
it's cool man and VIP and Sugrabr have NOTHING to do with this (they really dont---they are just pissen thmeselves) just travel safe---and if you are all "talk" meet me some-time in an alley way
Who bragged about writing a book? I hate that shizzzz - one of my FB friends always does that and it burns to see her get a million likes and "good for you, can't wait to read it" comments damn why do people feed into that? Congratulate her when she's finished the book not when she's trolling for FB attention with stat updates like "Writing!" Thank u for letting me get that off my chest lol
You want to meet me in an alley and do what Derek? You seem quite interested in me and my life and hurling insults at me and I've yet to say a single thing insulting towards you. I'm not longer participating in your drama.
It’s official, there is no help left for the world of entertainment. Well, at least the empire helmed by KJE. Folks, grab a tissue or a pitchfork, your choice, because I have some rather shocking news.
Charming Potato is “almost A+”.
Yes, you read that correctly. Almost A+. The guy who was nominated with Jonah Freaking Hill for “Choice Chemistry” and “Best Hissy Fit” awards. The guy who had to share an international award with Shia LePoof. The guy who won Best Shirtless Performance and Biggest Badass Star and all of these awesome awards that aren’t GGs or SAGs or Oscars like a certain “B list actress” who shall remain unnamed because you know who it is, KJE.
Charming potato was actually good in foxcatcher better than Carrell.
Ruffulo>>> Tatum >>>>>Carell.
Every Blind with Ben Affleck and Tater head cheating I dont put much weight in it considering they are the only two mofos cheating all the time. I never seen a blind of them doing good deeds and shit lol
Kim Kardashian is a “porn star turned A list reality star on an A list reality show” and has “A list tool of a husband” and dislikes a “former A list tweener” who called her curvy. Kanye told Simon Cowell to tell Demi Lovato to shut her yap so Simon took her to the dressing room for a good talking to.
What’s with all of these “stars” and “A lists” except for Demi? And Kanye’s the tool but not Kim? What is this, TMZ?
Don't you hate it when you forget it's your turn to cook? I love my Instant Pot so very much. Homemade refried beans are the bomb!
Anyway...
29
Denise Richards says her new beau is kinda ugly but he’s rich.
Lady, you made children with Tiger Blood Sheen who for some reason has at least managed to hold on to his teeth if not his original color, sanity, dignity, temper, humility, reason, ability to have healthy and stable relationships, respect from his peers, probably half of his liver… new guy must look like Hunchback of Notre Dame if he’s ugly by those standards.
well when you idea of "beautiful" is Charlie Sheen ----kinda hurts mah feeeelins *still dont hate him though---I would NEVER EVER leave my kids with him though***
#30: Matt Lauer is a scumbag who is insisting that his permanent co-host be single so she’ll be free to hook up with him. Ah, the sweet, sweet scent of sexual harassment lawsuits!
#31: I don’t know any of these people but I would’ve laughed if one had been Tim Tebow. An NFL player named Josh Gordon blew $10K on a “hooker to the stars” named Jenna Shea (sounds like lotion). She apparently likes football players because the next night, she hooked up with another one named Johnny Manziel who, for some reason, “shouldn’t be hanging around with this particular hooker”. If KJE says so… /kanye shrug
I live in Northeast Ohio and I'm a Browns fan, so I know who these two jackasses are.
Oh, and Matt Lauer and I are from the same town and went to the same high school (he's a couple of years older than me, though.) He's been a douchebag since back then, so this doesn't surprise me at all.
Legolas supposedly got wasted at an Irish wedding and tried to open the gates of Mordor (sorry, not my euphemism but it made me laugh) – only they did it in the same room where the wedding cake was being served. I don’t know if Irish weddings are different from US weddings, but here the cake is usually served in the same place where everything in the reception is served. There isn’t like a special wedding cake parlor. Unless maybe it was at someone’s home?
So I looked it up and nope, it’s in a big ol’ Irish castle and maybe they have some small rooms and ohmagersh, the bride is so lovely and LOOK AT THOSE DARLING FLOWER GIRLS and I really to move to Ireland and Orly still has a great smile and I love Crown Prince Freddy’s outfit and WHOA. Is that the entertainment? A toddler in a swimsuit with giant wings? Nope, it’s baby-face Miranda Kerr for some reason, because she wasn’t even at the wedding.
Curious – does everyone get wasted at Irish weddings? Where do I RSVP for a drunken Irish wedding at a huge castle with royalty and Legolas?
me too---just had words with another poster----but hey, what else is new *shrugs* I going to get to get all dolled-up now that should take 10 hours ----wish me luck?! i AM GONNA HAVE SEX tonighttt!!!! LOL dont worry there will be lots of condoms involved
They’re messing with the timestamps now. I thought it was over and my cilantro rice is almost done. What did we ever do without laptops?
So anyway, speaking of messed up hair, Tea Leoni simply will not stand for it. She’s run off two hairstylists, she has to have exactly 1.5 cups of hot water at the right temperature and two bags of her own tea (hey, I can’t fault her for that one, no one wants that Lipton crap in boiling water first thing in the morning, this is freaking LA!), and she has to have a golf cart to go more than 25 feet from her trailer. Meh, I’ve heard worse. A friend of mine worked with an actor who shall not be named and he is an a*hole of colossal proportions. I was really excited to meet him because I’ve always admired his work but after hearing what he’s really like, when he shook my hand, it was all I could to keep from turning my nose up at him. Talent doesn’t have to equal pretention.
She was so irritating (and I think on purpose) in Spanglish but I liked her in that "It's a Wonderful Life" knock-off with Nic Cage - hated the ending but damn, that movie had my boo Don Cheadle as the angel, Jeremy Piven (hate him, love his acting), and Saul Rubinek!
I wish I would have piggybacked this one onto 33. It’s one line about an American Idol contestant named Tenna Torres who tried to get in on The Fappening.
Speaking of reality tv and the only show I watch because cooking and Hulu and the iPad thingie in my kitchen - the season of Hell’s Kitchen that I’m watching – the credits have Gordon Ramsay lying Gulliver-like on the ground all trussed up while the contestants torment him. I had to pause it once to leave the room and when I came back, there’s mean ol’ Ramsay looking like an adorable giant toddler who just woke up. Cracked me up.
JKE could have totally had fun with this. Hmph. Well, since I don’t want Outtie to get another C&D and I’m bored with the disclaimers, here’s the Anarchy version of the blind and reveal, done oldE style.
I’ve been in the business a long time. You see them come, you see them go. This guy – he came and pulled a Marissa Tomei and now he just won’t go. The difference is, while Marissa’s biggest sin is that she has a fondness for a highball glass, this guy has a fondness for something a little more substantial.
Now back at his height, our B list mostly movie actor (and I’m being generous here) could, as the kids say, GET IT – but as my the grandparents say, “As the years pass, so does the time of our lives.” I used to watch that with my grandmother sometimes and I always wondered why no one ever caught on that each one of those grains of sand represented minutes investing in the lives of people you’ll never meet who gaze longingly at other people you’ll never meet and sometimes double cross people you’ll never meet and go to jails that don’t exist.
So this actor’s star begins to fade but his libido apparently fires off in the opposite direction. Fast forward a dozen or so years and here is, still married, still not getting good roles, still living off that one role, and we find him at a club – once again, only this kind of club has a pool and hot tubs and a bar – and he’s the local famous cabana man with a plan. He’ll come over to where you’re lounging, pick up your phone and offer to take a photo with you. If you have Instagram, maybe you get his famous catchphrase filter. He’ll help you with that pesky lotion on that pesky small of your back. He’ll fetch a towel or another drink for you. Heck, he’ll even show you what a private cabana looks like. Maybe it has a picture of Tom Cruise in it!
Damnnnn girl u had me going like now THIS is interesting then it's just plain ol Cuba lol. Shows how good writing can spice stuff up and why the old enty was so damn fun to read.
If I ever volunteer for this again, tell me you’ll put me out of my misery.
So yesterday George Clooney cheated on Krista Allen with Renee Zellwegger and Krista forgave him but drew the line at George banging Lucy Liu. Today, Lucy Liu’s boyfriend has a bodyguard for her because he is super jealous, wants to keep tabs on her, and also wants to have the bodyguard report to him whenever there’s a possibility she might find out the boyfriend is cheating on her. This sounds really complex and paranoid and with good reason.
Here’s the real story, courtesy of Wet Paint. Lucy’s boyfriend is a billionaire Israeli hedge fund manager. You know what’s going on in Israel right now? OK. Now, he’s not just a billionaire, he’s a double billionaire. He’s worth more than Bey and Jay combined.
So with that kind of dough and that kind of background, it’s not really a wonder they have tight security. Some jacka** could snatch her off the street and call for a big ol’ ransom and then we’d have to call Liam Neeson and man, the world just doesn’t have time for that. They’ve been dating four years and get this – Lucy’s an artist who went to an actual art school, has had several gallery shows, and has been donating the proceeds from her artwork to UNICEF for years. Kim Jong Enty, you have ads for toenail fungus. Lay off Lucy Liu.
38 – The word conjecture at the bottom of the page is there for a reason, I suppose.
A pap caught KimK going into a hotel. The pap caught KimK coming out of the hotel. He left when she did and some time later, baby Nori began to bake. Some time after that, pap is going through his photos, probably so he can find something to sell now that KimK is all over the news again, and he finds a forgotten photo that shows that when Kim came out of the hotel, she wasn’t wearing the earrings she had on going in and her hair was kind of messy and then pap goes HEY WAIT NORI LOOKS LIKE REGGIE BUSH AS A BABY! (Dude, all babies look like each other for a while and you’re a pap, you didn’t even catch the no earrings and messy hair the first time? Your observational skills are rather questionable.) So pap thinks he might be able to prove it.
40 – That’s the night that the lights went in Vegas
This one is also pretty far-fetched. Prince Hot Ginge and Brit met once in London and according to KJE they got it on and then moved on with their lives. Then Ginge comes to Vegas and Brit wants to meet him and she’s super duper excited but he like totally ditches her and then for like two weeks she cries and writes Princess Britney and Prince Harry true luv always in her pink diary and takes her Xanax and refuses to come out except to sit at restaurant tables and stare blankly at bodyguards’ backs while she eats. Because “something happened inside her those two weeks.. it is as if a light went off inside her”. Prince Hot Ginge broke Britney! Damn you, England, damn you!
Oh, I forgot one because I fell asleep reading it. #38, Lea Michele doesn’t talk to Ryan Murphy because he won’t cast her in his new show. Because that’s how it works.
Oh for Pete's sake!!! Like poor Britney is ever left alone for a minute for a hook up!! I'm on Team Leave Britney Alone and let her retire and enjoy her children and some peace and tranquility!!
Remember that scene in the first Anchorman where Ron Burgundy’s crew fights the PBS guys and some other guys come and it gets all bloody and it’s still pointless? That’s this reveal. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler tell Adam Sandler he can’t sit at their table and he says he can wear pink on Wednesdays if he wants to. The end.
WOOHOO! Last day of reveals. Warning: you probably won't need to break out that giant tin of popcorn combo mix, they're pretty boring, but I'll do them one by one so you can snark on them, too.
ReplyDeleteSo on to the reveals! (Remember, I am only posting reveals from CDaN and with attribution. BIs will come from other sites that don’t threaten Outtie like a whiny toddler mad that he threw his sippy cup in the toilet and it had to be disinfected.) No disclaimers today because they were mostly really short and I just commented.
First up for today: Simon Cowell gave up his harem for a month, but not this one special girl. Since Blind Gossip already had the “Demi Lovato and Simon Cowell, boom chicka wow wow” item on Foxella, we can consider that pre-solved.
Next up: Khloe Kardashian doesn’t like to share anything except her initials (and her men). Some guy gave her cocaine at a beach nightclub and then was following her like a puppy, so she went to the bathroom, inhaled it all, and gave the dude his vial back. I hope she didn’t do it off the toilet lid, that’s just gross. Do you think it was Billy Bob Thornton camped outside of the bathroom?
ReplyDelete#3 is Tallulah Willis, fresh rehab and with a shaved head (she actually doesn’t look too bad!) is threatening to dish on her family (I hope there’s some good Ashton dirt!) and wants a reality show. It feels like one of those 10,000 times we’ve been told that a tell-all book that will blow the gossip world apart is being shopped and we never see the book.
ReplyDeleteHey, kids, does everybody know what time it is? Suspending disbelief time!
ReplyDeleteIn today’s reveal #4, Kim Jong Wrong* says that a madam is shopping a book (another book?!) that has 30 pages or describing the exploits of one Catherine Zeta Jones. So the assumption here is that CZJ was a prostitute in her youth who worked for the madam and the madam has allllll kinds of dirt. Except… CZJ went to dance school at the age of five, was a British tap-dancing champion at the age of 11, made her professional acting debut on-stage as the lead in Annie at 14, toured the United Kingdom with a theatre troupe at the age of 17, played with the English National Opera and had her film debut with a French director at the ripe old age of 21 before moving on to television and music. Yeah, she was hooking the whole time. The sun will come out toooomorrow, bet your bottom dollar (leave it on the dresser) it’s tomorrow! Tomorrow! Tomorrow! Leave a tip for me tomorrow! It’s only a pay awaaaaay!
*Name changed because Telly Savalas's head used to scare me
LOL Leave it on the dresser. I love you Seven. I read, really do.
DeleteBAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh man that's funny!
DeleteIn the words of Kojak, who loves you, baby?
Delete#5: It’s going to be a long day.
ReplyDeletePaula Abdul told Charlie Sheen to quit hitting a woman. Charlie told her to mind her own business and they haven’t spoken in several years.
Honestly, that sounds almost like a kindness, having Charlie Sheen refuse to speak to you. At least he's not threatening her on Twitter!
ME FTW!
DeleteSix in the mix: Everyone's favorite drunk who is not Kiki but somehow managed to finagle an A-/B+ rating picked up a woman and would make out with her and presumably do other soft-core lesbian stuff when guys would buy her huge bottles of booze. This is so implausible that it’s laughable, but apparently some people who live in LA are used to superhero parades and sparkles when they buy expensive booze at a bar. Why would you buy the booze at a bar? Don’t they have liquor stores where Michelle Rodriguez was staying?
ReplyDeleteLucky #7 is not so lucky. Serial cheater Frasier banged some lady in the recording booth the first time he guested on the Simpsons.
ReplyDeleteMan, I loved me some Frasier, still do. When he and David Hyde Pierce did Sideshow Bob and Cecil, it was perfect. Sad to hear he's a total dog. Daphne needs to smack with a rolled up newspaper.
I honestly have no idea how he gets so much ass. That should be a real wonder of the world.
DeleteEight is another Simpsons reveal: professional poker lady Jennifer Tilly won’t get married again because her divorce settlement with Sam Simon (developer and Producer of The Simpsons) gave her millions and she doesn’t want to share. I guess probate lawyers don’t know what prenups are.
ReplyDelete#9: Another Improbable Kindness
ReplyDeleteWhy do they have to be so improbable? Like buying school buses instead of donating cash or buying a whole apartment building for homeless former nurses and getting them jobs at the Betty Ford Clinic.
Today, AnnaLynne VIP McChord “managed to squeeze $250k out of some very reluctant business people” so that she could build a halfway house for sex workers in an Asian country. “If they went back home, they would just be sold again.” Duh, that’s how the sex trade works in Asia. What isn’t answered is who pays the taxes and levies on the house/property? Who funds the staff and food and programs? How do the sex workers get out of the sex trade and into the house?
ALVM was a victim of sexual assault when she was younger and is a tireless advocate, so I think they just pulled this one out of the air based on the IChoose Campaign (http://www.ichoosecampaign.com/) that helps people find organizations to support that help fight sexual abuse globally. Since Cambodia is mentioned on their website, that’s probably where KJE got their idea. They could have at least linked to the iChoose website but then that’s a precious click lost!
OK #10: Harry Potter got plastered on a plane – 10 drinks and a bottle of wine. Has KJE ever seen a bottle of airplane wine? It’s like half a glass! That is what the French call amuse-bouche! So afterward he had to be helped off the plane, presumably to stagger into the bathroom Madonna style and come out completely sober because of the Magic Sober Pill.
ReplyDeleteAside for a moment: the original comments were like a walk down memory lane. Everyone was talking about fake Iron Man and telling Sober Coach E* he was full of it because DanRad said he no longer drinks and his career did not have any “rough starts” after Harry Potter. Ah, the good ol’ days.
*Name changed because now I have "Snape, Snape, Serius Snape!" in my head
Dumbledor!
DeleteDumbledore!
DeleteIn first class they actually do have full wine bottles just as an FYI.
DeleteElevensies: Julianne Hough wants to be one of the Bachelorettes. Enty Seacrest* says that it won’t be the first time she’s faked for money.
ReplyDeleteI've always said that I rather like Ryan Seacrest and his ugly duckling story. Then someone told me he's responsible for foisting the Kardashians upon us. I don't know how or why but I think that qualifies as some form of mental and emotional abuse. I also don't know why I always connect Julianne Hough and her brother with Ryan Seacrest. I do know that the tradition of eating hoppin' john on New Year's Day is supposed to bring you a year of good luck but often just brings you a day of listening to your roommates say "Excuse me" and "sorry about that" and "where's the air freshener?" all day.
A: Alex, who is Andy Cohen.
DeleteQ: Who did Gaycrest blow when he signed his pact with Satan to destroy television?
Bravo, Seven! Thanks for keeping us from having to give clicks to He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete(sorry, goofed the link!)
ReplyDeleteNooner! Rihanna dates rappers and other rappers while alternating between other rappers (what does that even mean?) but is quietly dating a married record exec who likes Christian country music (I think, maybe it’s opera) when she’s not dating Crazy Eyes DeLasagne. I don’t believe this because I can’t see RiRi doing ANYTHING quietly.
I see you, 13*!
ReplyDeleteAshton Kutcher calls it “relieving the pressure” but Mila probably won’t. What is “it”? Daily prostate exams? Ben and Jerry’s? Punk’d marathons? Watching GI Jane and crying when Aragorn tries to off Demi?
*Anyone watch House? I LOVE House. Hugh Laurie is a freaking genius. Anyway, Olivia Wilde, she of the amazing eyes, was on House and he never called her by her name. She was always 13. So when I get the Olivia’s confused, I just remember the pretty one is #13.
14 for Friday: Oh great, another Rita OreIda one. I swear, I feel like the French fry joke is about get freezer burnt. So Crinkle Cut is missing half the tracks on her latest release (huh?) and she told Jay-Z she’d take a bat to Elevator Terrorist Solange Knowles’s knees (she didn’t) but J can’t tick off Bey so he called his brother Kanye (hey, am I rapping? Go me!) because Mr Kim’s clothing line didn’t work out.
ReplyDelete#dropsmicandgrabskanyesmask
I have a friend whom I had plans to take out for dinner tonight for her up coming bday. The problem is she never texts me back regarding plans. She has never ditched me and I am not a wary wart but every single time we get together I text her a few days before to make sure everything is kosher but she never ever texts me back saying "yup sounds like a plan" I just got so fed up I left her a nasty text msg explaining how annoying that is. As I said she is a reliable person but I have expressed to her so many times that it irks me. A good example of this was when she was my date for a wedding but never reconfirmed and I felt left in the dark not knowing if I had a date till the last minute. It is always "relax D rock I said I am going blah blah blah" Do you think I am over reacting? I think I may have ended a friendship sadly.
ReplyDeleteEven if she is reliable, it is still irksome and rude to not answer. Just a quick response is needed in my humble opinion. I do have a friend that use to text non stop though, and I have learned to stop because if I respond I am caught up in a text conversation for the next hour.
Delete***echooo*anyone anyone ---I know thats not glamorous like a blind item but I dont know how I feel about this scenario. Good friends are hard to find but she makes me feel shitty
Deleteopps sorry Jessi---posted before reading your post. Exactley though---it takes half a second to say yes see you Friday---and it is constant with her. Makes me feel dumb and suspicious of being the only one she does it to. Another problem is I am actually friends with her sister so it will be awkward when I see her next.
Delete@Derek I know people that get mortally offended if I double check on upcoming plans with them. Since they are reliable, in their mind checking up on the plans implies that I think that they might flake, and they get super pissed. With other people, I have to check on them because they will flake if I don't. Different strokes for different folks.
DeleteBottome line, good friends shouldn't make you feel shitty, but a great friend will forgive the occasional blowup :) Hope everything works out!
I don't think you are overreacting, I think it is normal #1 to get a confirmation that someone is available for an event esp when the plans were made a while ago and #2 I always usually follow up and one time I didn't the friend forgot, she had it in her mind that the concert was on Wednesday not Tuesday so from now on I'll never forget the reminder email/text, people get busy
DeleteJust apologize profusely and explain your need to have things confirmed, because then you can relax, and the reminder is a courtesy thing cause peeps get busy and at my age you start to forget things LOL
It is irksome, but how you deal with it depends on how you feel about the person. If this is just a casual or moderate friend then yeah, go ahead and let them now. But if it's someone you really feel strongly about and don't want to lose, then maybe you have to bite your tongue and accept that this person has a flaw you probably aren't going to be able to do anything about. One of my problems with friends is wanting them to be better people than they're capable of being, and I have to remember that I have my own flaws and quirks that piss people off too.
Delete@derek, I have a friend like that. I love her to pieces but she'll say "I'll be there at 11.30" and I mentally set my alarm for 12.30 because every single time she's late and sometimes flakes out. But like I said, I love her dearly. You have to decide if your irritation about this behaviour weighs more than your affection for her and your friendship. And it really doesn't hurt to have a conversation and just tell her, "Hey, I love you, you're a wonderful friend and I'm trying to make some changes in the New Year - could you help me with something? I want to make sure that when I make plans, I'm firm with them so I don't flake out at the last minute or get panicky. So if we make plans together, could you do me a favor and remind me? Like hold me accountable?" Maybe by asking her to hold you accountable for time, it helps her to also be accountable for being firm with her commitment to your time.
DeleteI don't think that you are overacting and I am in the same boat as you now. I am waiting on hearing from my BFF now about tentative plans that we had for this weekend and unlike your friend, mine is unreliable. I have texted her 3 times today and not heard back from her. This sucks because I am home for the holidays and will be leaving the sunshine state soon to drive back home. I was hopeful to spend some time with her, but it's looking like that's not going to happen. The even shittier part about all of this is that she will eventually tell me that she was not feeling well this weekend and that she wanted to spend time with me while I was home, but I was too busy to make time for her.
DeleteThanks for advice everyone. Sorry I am usually not one to spill my bizness out in public but feel very confused. and yall know me---I am a know-it-all in general so when I question myself its major lol---l am truly grateful to have found the posters here...
Delete@Dolphy--ugh I have another friend like that but we avoid each other like the plague these days because I will flake on her knowing damn well she wont care.
DeleteI think I just need a man! lol
lol Sherry!
DeleteSame here, @Derek! If I had a man, I certainly would not be sitting on my parent's couch brooding over not being able to hang out with my childhood bestie this weekend. I love that bitch to pieces, but her unwillingness to commit to plans really sucks sometimes.
Deleteyeah but we'd be brooding over much worse with a man lol ; )
DeleteI always get stuck with the liars and the dirty dirty cheats. I once dated a guy for 4 months to find out he was homeless! I am not saying anything bad about homeless people but everything that came outta his mouth was a lie!
Can we all meet up and go looking for some men? I'm finally over my last love and ready to meet someone new!
DeleteI'm down---lets skank it up at the club lol
DeleteI'm late to the discussion here but, Derek, if I tried to confirm plans with someone and they didn't respond, I would make other plans. If she shows up expecting to go out for dinner, perhaps she'll learn to be more courteous in future. That sort of rudeness is unacceptable.
Deletehey demanduh! AND I had to switch reservations because she didnt wanna go to O'Noir -because "its weird and gross"
DeleteYou want to take her out for HER birthday and she doesn't answer a quick "that sounds fabulous"? Rude inconsiderate child needed a fiery message.
Deleteoh and the end of the story ---she just texted me
Delete"what is your problem?"
I think I will have dinner at 711 tonight---chiqitos rule!
I still haven't heard back from my bestie so I'm taking in some words of wisdom from the the Lady Chablis: "two tears in a bucket, motherfuck it."
Deletei know it sucks
Deletesuper late to the discussion but I think it is super rude not to respond to someone checking on plans with you! I don't know how close you are but friends shouldn't treat you like that.
DeleteHave you thought about calling her instead of texting?
DeleteShe sounds rude and self-absorbed - it takes two minutes to text a response. I have a family member like this who I've jumped on more than once (politely as well as more directly) ... in the end, it's easier just not to have them in your life. (But I'm a Scorpio, so pretty ruthless in that regard - people come and go; life is short - we're here for a good time, not a long time, so who wants to put up with any unnecessary crap?).
DeleteSeven, I lurve you Big Time.
ReplyDelete+1.
Delete15 gets a learner’s permit
ReplyDeleteI don’t watch Dancing with the Stars but I do drink vodka so I’ll give it a shot. The Russian dude who always carries a suitcase full of cash everywhere he goes and apparently is a serial banger when he’s not making sure nobody puts Baby in a corner didn’t cheat on his former girlfriend Karina Smirnoff for 48 hours. (Did someone do roll call? Has anyone who might or might not have slept with that guy absent today? No? Good!) But he got home and broke his cheat-fast and she got mad and that’s why they are now former. I wonder if he got any complimentary vodka out of it.
Oh Seven, you are just the cat's meow! Thanks girly!
ReplyDeleteOK, looks like they're taking a breather, so here's one from FOXELLA.COM.
ReplyDeleteHe had some serious skeletons in his closet and she is discovering them all
January 2, 2015
This A list mostly movie actress has been married for under a year but I don’t think they will make it to a year.
He had some serious skeletons in his closet and she is discovering them all.
Zoe Saldana
Marco Perego
If that guess is right, it's totally wrong. They were married in 2013 and this being 2015, a year has most certainly passed.
Since when Opinion = Blind Items
DeleteNot So Sweet 16
ReplyDeleteLena Dunham was trash talking her co-star Allison Williams and then saw her and was all, “Oh, I didn’t mean you, you’re faaaabbbb! I love you! Let’s go get Ben & Jerry’s and marathon our show! Remember the one where I got naked? No, not that one, silly, the other one. No, not that one!!”
This totally sounds like Lena. She's done things like this on Twitter, calling it edgy and dark humour. Please. George Carlin did it and he didn't (thankfully) have to take his clothes off and tell stories about his little sister's vagina.
behave Seven! lolll You KNOW GIRLS is brilliant---I feel like my little friend dilemma is going to be in season 4. and the chick I am complaining about is not even rad like Jessa haha
DeleteOuch.
DeleteAlso Lena has talent and so does Alison---they all do. I couldnt be friends with Lena---we are too much a like in some ways *minus the little sister thing!*
DeleteI just wish they ditched the Marnie is a singer story-line....
DeleteLena has little mean beady eyes. Just the fact she's one of Swifty's little minions should send warning bells.
Delete17: AngieJo’s dad has a date who carries a clutch the size of her still developing hormone schedule because Papa Jon is old enough to be the girl’s grandpa and somehow between the time she put on a short, tight dress, grabbed her clutch and phone, and toddled her way to the car, she didn’t realize the phone didn’t fit into the clutch, so she stowed it in her thong. Because no one would recognize the shape of a Hello Kitty iPhone through a short, tight skirt. So I’m guess it started buzzing because she had it on vibrate and she giggled, and with a twinkle in his grandfatherly eye, good ol’ Jon excused himself, reached under her skirt, and retrieved it – only to find it was on both vibrate AND ringtone, and it was set to the Hello Kitty ringtone! Meow, meow! Meow, meow! Jon winked and turned to answer. “This is Octopussy,” he said with a leer.
ReplyDelete(I made most of that up.)
is it sad that I always remember exactly which blind you are writing about and which ones I guessed right lol
Deleteyou crack me up seven---you should write for a show like Letterman or The Daily ....
DeleteJon Voight makes my skin crawl.
DeleteThe BIR that is of age!
ReplyDeleteThe Hammaconda skipped the Emmys because Jennifer cock-blocks him (I think I’m using that the right way). It’s dated August 26, 2014 and everyone guessed Live Schreiber. Know why?
Because Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt were at the 2014 Emmy Awards together. Who knew KJE was moonlighting as an extra on Pretty Little Liars?!
Oh, so then I re-read it and see that it’s worded in such way as to imply that Jon refuses to fly WITH Jennifer because the power of Hammaconda is you know, like a snake on a plane. Somebody call Samuel L Jackson!
The actress that played the original Ellie May Clampett, Donna Douglas has died.
ReplyDeleteoh no wheres Meanie?
DeleteThat blind that is not a young Duggard but has a lot of filler
ReplyDeleteWhen 7 was a lass, it was her heart’s desire to become a teacher. Then she got a little older and a little bolder and discovered the fine art of discourse. This is a fancy way of saying a teenage 7 was extremely sassy and was encouraged by many (all) faculty and teachers to join the debate club, which she did, leading her to change her desired profession to that of a LAWYER. Like Atticus Finch, 7 would fight for social justice and defend the poor, and she’d get to do this while doing one of her favorite things: arguing! WIN WIN!
Unfortunately, 7 took pre-law and ran screaming. It is a dry and dusty subject and 7 had no stomach for the glamorous world of prosecution or public defense. So she became a smart aleck writer who still argues, just in columns where people can’t argue back. HAH! Wait, there are those damned letters to the editor…
Anyway, all of this to say that if KJE is a lawyer, he apparently has never heard of this little tome called Black’s Law Dictionary, 10th Edition, which defines prostitution as the act of granting a sexual favor (sexual favor being very specifically SEX, whether vaginal, oral, anal, or manual) in return for something of value (namely money). You know what is not prostitution? Lap dancing and stripping (thought it might be in Utah…). So when Michael Jordan was auditioning ladies who were in his lap to return to his room with him, he was not auditioning strippers. For the millionth time, he was auditioning potential prostitutes.
if I could be like Mike....
DeleteThis blind about a drunk isn’t old enough to drink
ReplyDeleteSo Leonard from Big Bang Theory is a meanie when he’s drunk and his lady dumped him because of it. Weird because his huge property out in Santa Monica has a vineyard on it. Does he go out there and get trashed Sideways style? Maybe he needs a non-feminist Kaley Cuoco to tame his wild ways.
which one is Leonard? David from Roseanne?
DeleteBut...his favorite movie is The Goonies. How can you be a sloppy snarling drunk while loving The Goonies?
DeleteDavid is in Christmas Vacation and he slept in the same bed as Juliette Lewis. Crazy times.
I am sorry but he has ALWAYS pinged my gaydar ---and my gaydar is pretty much broken these days
DeleteOld enough to drink but did pills instead
ReplyDeleteCourtney Love is back on drugs, she walked up to a tourist sitting with his wife and started screaming at him for being the douche who dumped before she realized he wasn’t so she apologized and then did it again 20 minutes to someone else.
You know, for having two seriously whacked out parents, Frances Bean seems to pretty OK. Good for her. I sure wish I knew Enty’s fascination with people repeating things every 20 minutes, though. It’s always 20 minutes or 24 hours!
not our Courtney---she would nevah!
Delete2. BLIND GOSSIP 01/01
ReplyDeleteThis TV guy and his wife recently attended a party. While he is usually the center of attention for his willingness to dispense doctorly advice, the guests were instead focused on his wife. Her face looked different, as if she had recently received Botox and facial fillers. One of the guests commented on how pretty and youthful she looked. While the wife declined to name the exact procedures that had changed her face, she freely shared the motivation behind her beauty procedures with the group: "I have to do everything possible to keep up my looks… because all the ladies who meet [my husband] want to suck his dick!" Dr. Phil (Robin)
This one made me chuckle ---I dont read nor comment on Blind Gossip because it is too pedestrian for me but I hate Dr. Phil and his wife sucks
Here's someone else who hates Dr. Phil.
Deletelol that is a classic!
DeleteI think I can say with all honesty that I have never ever not even for one second ever thought about doing anything related to Dr. Phil's cock. Uhm...just no.
DeleteEwww - like she'd actually blurt that out *eyeroll*
Delete22 Yawn Street
ReplyDeleteYou know the old saying “you lose ‘em how you got ‘em”? Well, Sexiest Beanpole Alive Adam Levine apparently introduced Blake Half-Ewok Shelton to a lingerie model and Blake immediately lost his head (the one upstairs), despite the fact that wife Miranda is preggers (I think). Blake was only married 18 months to his first wife when he lost his head over Miranda and got himself a right quick d-i-v-o-r-c-e.
I’ve never watched anything but a clip or two of Adamsleeves on The Voice but a lot of people say Blake is smarmy. If this is true, yeah, that’s smarmy, all right.
I apparently missed a ton of reveals while I was at the gym!
ReplyDeleteI need to do that---I just hate gyms with a passion---I need a Tracy Anderson ---I am fit and shit but not as much as I could be....
DeleteGyms suck. I went daily for a year. Was doing the same thing with no results. Trainers there were more interested in texting than helping. I've seen them eat while working with clients! Got a private trainer - worked out of her home. Was much better. Just call me Miley.
DeleteI didn't spend $15,000 like Miley did, though.
DeleteI go to two different gyms. We're from the same city...I go to a super swanky one on the downtown core that the view is so stunning you literally forget how much your abs are killing and how much your sweating....and all the trainers are very easy on the eyes
DeleteI have been doing some youtube work outs----The thing is I HATE weight training---when I lift a weight a concsious in my mind is saying "this sucks and there is no need" and it is always heavy---I feel really good after but that only lasts like 10 minutes
Delete@Jason, I've never worked with a trainer, I just look. I just know how my body works and what machines to use and how to confuse the diff muscle groups to get results (no more then 2 mins on each muscle then switch it up) etc
Delete@Gina--if its the one on Adelaide I had a job interview there once --I declined though. No I dont wanna serve hot people green juice all day for 10 bucks an hour.
DeleteI went to one in the upper part of a mall so all we saw was mall roof and sky. Below it was a Bed Bath & Beyond and workers there told me all you heard all day long was the "thunk" of weights dropping on their ceiling.
Delete@Derek, I only do ankle/wrist weights when I go for a run, mainly cause I have zero desire to be ripped like a man (and to use as protection lol early morning downtown runs can be scary)
Deleteyeah I dont even like talking to those guys let alone paying to see them or looking at them during my "spare" time
DeleteNo, Bay St. @Jason, that would be super annoying lol
Deleteyeah like I said I do exercise when I can---I love a good 2 hour walk with my ipod and do it a few times a week---it is the Winter though ---ugh--you understand--I get worried that I will wake up and turn into a fatty!
DeleteJason, what city are you from?
DeleteGina - I did work with one trainer - female. For some reason I get along better with females in these types of situations. And I wanted someone that would concentrate on me and not stare at fit babes for the whole hour. She was Ok. Spent one session telling me how the guy she was seeing took her to see one of those Expendables movies and she hated it. Wanted me to sign up for a 7,000 training contract. I was like "Nah-unh. You're cute but not that cute."
Delete$7,000.
Deletei think Jason lives in Los Angelous
DeleteEverything counts Derek :) and don't fret, even people who are comatose depending on their BMR and height and weight, will burn anywhere from 800-1500 calories a day. You'll be okay :)
DeleteI apologize if I spelled that wrong---everything on my spell corrector said no when I typed that
DeleteI make it a point to only run if there's food on the table or a naked man in bed. No wonder I'm fat.
DeleteAnd also a gym *sorry Seven you're gonna hate this term* raped my bank account for almost two years----yeah no gym for me ever lol
DeleteLol@Sherry
DeleteMinus the U and it's all good Derek
now I feel like Rach/Bee....I will find something really cool to share---give me a minute
ReplyDeleteI am here all night people---well for an hour or so----someone needs to bring the good gossip
ReplyDeleteChapter 23
ReplyDeleteKylie Minogue has really, really, REALLY bad luck with guys. One of them even pulled a Rush Limbaugh and left her while she was in chemo! So ValENTYno decides to pour salt into the wound and say that the few guys she’s dated since then have been for show and even they cheated, so she gave up. You stay Klassy there, Kupid!
Speaking of cheaters, I was at Costco yesterday and who do I see in line for one of those giant floppy slices of 800 calorie pizzas? This guy who is on our local TV station all the time hawking his personal training services and talking about crap diets. Dude, order in!
he also played Winona.
DeleteI always liked her. She and I have the same birthday. She's older though.
DeleteI certainly dont dislike Kylie---but I dont understand the hype---I do love that one song that is not The Locomotion
DeleteDrop and give me 24!
ReplyDeleteSo Jack Sparrow figured out Amber Never HeardofHer is cheating. She’s getting an award for something that is not acting (there are Fame Ho awards? I thought KimK raked all those in!) and Depp is pretending he has a tooth whitening procedure that day.
I liked Johnny and Angie in The Tourist. It felt like one of those older films, like Rene Russo and Pierce Brosnan in The Thomas Crown Affair. And Angie’s accent was flawless, not to mention her wardrobe. Sigh. To be rich and famous, that is my Christmas wish.
I thought The Tourist was so boring---but I hate action films in general
DeleteYou're famous to us, Seven. We can't help you with the rich thing though.
DeleteShe's rich with adoration ;)
DeleteAw, you guys are totally distracting me!! <3 <3 <3
DeleteBut if we had RDJ or Taylor Swift money we'd make you supa rich.
DeleteThink of all the Mimosa's she could buy...you could bathe in mimosa Seven!
DeleteLike Kim Basinger used to bathe in Evian.
Delete25 alive: Kindness
ReplyDeleteKid Rock was really nice to a homeless guy who had flipped out and was yelling at people. He sat him down on a bus bench (no reports of a sobbing Selma Blair in the vicinity), talked him down, then gave him a few hundred bucks and a ride to a mission.
It’s always interesting to me how they know these really specific details that are reported nowhere else. Like no paps caught the very recognizable Kid Rock being harassed by a guy who looks Nick Nolte and then giving him a few hundreds after a man-to-man (“Dude, you can’t be running in the street like that!” “Oh, thank you, Kid Rock, you saved my life! Can you take me to a mission so I can turn it all back around?!”) and then gave the dude a lift to the mission. (Mission?)
Even though I don't believe how this blind was written, I have heard that Kid Rock is very good to his fans. (And certainly not how Seven presented it, how KJE wrote it!)
Delete26
ReplyDeleteGlinda the Good Witch’s career might be Pushing Up Daisies if she keeps trying to be such an attention hog and pretending to be sick, in a relationship, and/or injured.
I read a couple of days ago that NBC (I think) is going to bring Kristin and Idina back to do a live action Wicked on TV ala Peter Pan and Sound of Music. I cannot wait! It’s about time they got the brilliant idea of hiring actual Broadway-trained singers/actors/dancers and not Vampire Beeelll and the winner of American Idol.
I tried to find something cool and different but couldnt lol----People actually watch that shit? Team Xtina all day everyday if thats the case
DeleteBUT I will and post when I can find it---give me a couple of hours (or lifetimes)
DeleteI'll only watch if John Travolta gets to do the live introduction.
Delete"And now, here are the wonderful...the fabulous...Adele Dazeem and Crickets Dishwater."
I feel bad for Johhny T ---he reminds me of all the married guys that hit on me and I have to say " NO. You are a nice looking guy but just NOOOOO" I just wish he would take one for the team........You were in Grease and SPulp Fiction and Saturday Night Fever FFSakes
DeleteLet's not forget Stayin Alive Derek! Short shorts and bandanas! Yes!!
DeleteaMEN----LOVE that movie too!
DeleteAnyway Folks, before the ex flies back to the other side of the country, he coming over to watch the hockey game so I must so put very little effort (ya right) into how I look and then be disappointed when he leaves for another 524 months *sigh* lol Have a good night!
ReplyDeleteI thought we dont talk about our "sex lives" around here
DeleteGood night Gina.
DeleteI didn't mention sex?
Deleteoh when Rowdy wrote another one of his 4 paragraphs monologues *trust me I dont read them either* your exact words were "we dont discuss that around here" -------So........................................................
Deletenot very nice Gina. (but I really dont read them cause they always end-up with --and then I got my wrestalin doll back. Still not nice.
DeleteVIP and Sugarbr will love this
Delete"And she brags about writing a book but wont tell us whom she is, evidently we are in the presence of Madonna"
Wtf? First of all, my EXACT words were, we don't keep tabs on eachothers love lives....SECOND who wrote that "She brags" shit?! I most certainly did NOT see that comment, you Derek? Rowdy?
DeleteI am definetly NOT Rowdy---just sayin check your-self befor you disrespect someone ----if someone wants to to talk about something out-loud around here--IMHO that is awesome. However, You were totally rude saying that. It is going to be freezing rain so be safe and such.
DeletePlease Derek, I don't owe you or anyone explanations about SHIT. And if YOU or ANYONE ELSE reading this has an issue with me, you're free to speak you're mind. And I DIE laughing...my book, I brought up ONCE in a BOOK post. According to you, VIP, Sugar and yourself all take issue with it. Have yourself a great night Derek.
Deleteit's cool man
Deleteand VIP and Sugrabr have NOTHING to do with this (they really dont---they are just pissen thmeselves) just travel safe---and if you are all "talk" meet me some-time in an alley way
*crickets* go hoke on your vegan cupakes
DeleteDerek, I remember that, and I'm pretty sure Gina was joking. Like "we weren't super worried but glad you're happy" kind of way.
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DeleteWho bragged about writing a book? I hate that shizzzz - one of my FB friends always does that and it burns to see her get a million likes and "good for you, can't wait to read it" comments damn why do people feed into that? Congratulate her when she's finished the book not when she's trolling for FB attention with stat updates like "Writing!"
DeleteThank u for letting me get that off my chest lol
amen Kels----
DeleteI BELIEVE it is the author of THE SERVANT--sorry meant Secret
DeleteOh I see your reply now Gina I'm not bitching bout u. I never saw the post in question. But damnnnnn. My friend is annoying!
DeleteLol Derek I love u man didn't mean to get in the middle!
Deleteno no right back at char----but the more I spend on this tin machine---the less I can be beautiful lol ---kkkkkkkkk peace peace
DeleteYou want to meet me in an alley and do what Derek? You seem quite interested in me and my life and hurling insults at me and I've yet to say a single thing insulting towards you. I'm not longer participating in your drama.
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DeleteThe 27 Club
ReplyDeleteIt’s official, there is no help left for the world of entertainment. Well, at least the empire helmed by KJE. Folks, grab a tissue or a pitchfork, your choice, because I have some rather shocking news.
Charming Potato is “almost A+”.
Yes, you read that correctly. Almost A+. The guy who was nominated with Jonah Freaking Hill for “Choice Chemistry” and “Best Hissy Fit” awards. The guy who had to share an international award with Shia LePoof. The guy who won Best Shirtless Performance and Biggest Badass Star and all of these awesome awards that aren’t GGs or SAGs or Oscars like a certain “B list actress” who shall remain unnamed because you know who it is, KJE.
Oh, and he screws around and gets drunk a lot.
I never wanted to be Elton John so bad in my entire life! *besides ya know that talent thing*
DeleteIf he gets an Oscar nom he's going to be worse than AnnE.This is going to be a long season.
DeleteI havent seen Fox Catcher yet! Have you?
DeleteI will be seeing it very soon. For Steve C. and not for Jug-Head Tatum.
DeleteI like him---I think he is HOT,fun and relevant
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DeleteCharming potato was actually good in foxcatcher better than Carrell.
DeleteRuffulo>>> Tatum >>>>>Carell.
Every Blind with Ben Affleck and Tater head cheating I dont put much weight in it considering they are the only two mofos cheating all the time. I never seen a blind of them doing good deeds and shit lol
28 too late
ReplyDeleteKim Kardashian is a “porn star turned A list reality star on an A list reality show” and has “A list tool of a husband” and dislikes a “former A list tweener” who called her curvy. Kanye told Simon Cowell to tell Demi Lovato to shut her yap so Simon took her to the dressing room for a good talking to.
What’s with all of these “stars” and “A lists” except for Demi? And Kanye’s the tool but not Kim? What is this, TMZ?
you re-posted that re-post yesterday lol
DeleteN ever trust anyone named Demi---trust me!
I have never in my life personally known a Demi! I always wonder if they pronounce "Dem-EE" or "Deh-ME".
DeleteI do and have---she looks like a Demi---she is fucken hot!
DeleteRe #28- you can't shove you're size 3XL size ass into a size small pencil skirt and think people confuse you with Twiggy.
ReplyDelete*your* ugh even thinking about her has made me stupid.
DeleteDon't you hate it when you forget it's your turn to cook? I love my Instant Pot so very much. Homemade refried beans are the bomb!
ReplyDeleteAnyway...
29
Denise Richards says her new beau is kinda ugly but he’s rich.
Lady, you made children with Tiger Blood Sheen who for some reason has at least managed to hold on to his teeth if not his original color, sanity, dignity, temper, humility, reason, ability to have healthy and stable relationships, respect from his peers, probably half of his liver… new guy must look like Hunchback of Notre Dame if he’s ugly by those standards.
"for some reason has at least managed to hold on to his teeth."
DeleteAre you certain about that?
*RUNS AWAY SCREAMING*
DeleteYou have to warn a girl! AAAACCCKKK!
Dear Heavenly Seven: I fall upon one knee and bow my head in gratitude to you. You are a thousand Christmases rolled into one. Mwa.
Deletewell when you idea of "beautiful" is Charlie Sheen ----kinda hurts mah feeeelins *still dont hate him though---I would NEVER EVER leave my kids with him though***
ReplyDelete#30: Matt Lauer is a scumbag who is insisting that his permanent co-host be single so she’ll be free to hook up with him. Ah, the sweet, sweet scent of sexual harassment lawsuits!
ReplyDelete#31: I don’t know any of these people but I would’ve laughed if one had been Tim Tebow. An NFL player named Josh Gordon blew $10K on a “hooker to the stars” named Jenna Shea (sounds like lotion). She apparently likes football players because the next night, she hooked up with another one named Johnny Manziel who, for some reason, “shouldn’t be hanging around with this particular hooker”. If KJE says so… /kanye shrug
*In a Mimi voice* "Whos Matt Lauter?"
DeleteI live in Northeast Ohio and I'm a Browns fan, so I know who these two jackasses are.
DeleteOh, and Matt Lauer and I are from the same town and went to the same high school (he's a couple of years older than me, though.) He's been a douchebag since back then, so this doesn't surprise me at all.
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ReplyDelete(edited because autocorrect)
ReplyDelete32 skidoo
Legolas supposedly got wasted at an Irish wedding and tried to open the gates of Mordor (sorry, not my euphemism but it made me laugh) – only they did it in the same room where the wedding cake was being served. I don’t know if Irish weddings are different from US weddings, but here the cake is usually served in the same place where everything in the reception is served. There isn’t like a special wedding cake parlor. Unless maybe it was at someone’s home?
So I looked it up and nope, it’s in a big ol’ Irish castle and maybe they have some small rooms and ohmagersh, the bride is so lovely and LOOK AT THOSE DARLING FLOWER GIRLS and I really to move to Ireland and Orly still has a great smile and I love Crown Prince Freddy’s outfit and WHOA. Is that the entertainment? A toddler in a swimsuit with giant wings? Nope, it’s baby-face Miranda Kerr for some reason, because she wasn’t even at the wedding.
Curious – does everyone get wasted at Irish weddings? Where do I RSVP for a drunken Irish wedding at a huge castle with royalty and Legolas?
YELLO GUYS
ReplyDeletehey girl hey
DeleteNothing. Jut catching up to Seven of Elevens Good deads
Deleteme too---just had words with another poster----but hey, what else is new *shrugs* I going to get to get all dolled-up now that should take 10 hours ----wish me luck?! i AM GONNA HAVE SEX tonighttt!!!! LOL dont worry there will be lots of condoms involved
DeleteWell Damn. Enjoy. Dont forget the waffles.
DeleteRoom 33
ReplyDeleteThey’re messing with the timestamps now. I thought it was over and my cilantro rice is almost done. What did we ever do without laptops?
So anyway, speaking of messed up hair, Tea Leoni simply will not stand for it. She’s run off two hairstylists, she has to have exactly 1.5 cups of hot water at the right temperature and two bags of her own tea (hey, I can’t fault her for that one, no one wants that Lipton crap in boiling water first thing in the morning, this is freaking LA!), and she has to have a golf cart to go more than 25 feet from her trailer. Meh, I’ve heard worse. A friend of mine worked with an actor who shall not be named and he is an a*hole of colossal proportions. I was really excited to meet him because I’ve always admired his work but after hearing what he’s really like, when he shook my hand, it was all I could to keep from turning my nose up at him. Talent doesn’t have to equal pretention.
she looka like a man
DeleteI liked her in bad boys lol
DeleteShe was so irritating (and I think on purpose) in Spanglish but I liked her in that "It's a Wonderful Life" knock-off with Nic Cage - hated the ending but damn, that movie had my boo Don Cheadle as the angel, Jeremy Piven (hate him, love his acting), and Saul Rubinek!
DeleteShe was great in Flirting with Disaster. I saw it last week and still love that movie.
Delete34
ReplyDeleteI wish I would have piggybacked this one onto 33. It’s one line about an American Idol contestant named Tenna Torres who tried to get in on The Fappening.
Speaking of reality tv and the only show I watch because cooking and Hulu and the iPad thingie in my kitchen - the season of Hell’s Kitchen that I’m watching – the credits have Gordon Ramsay lying Gulliver-like on the ground all trussed up while the contestants torment him. I had to pause it once to leave the room and when I came back, there’s mean ol’ Ramsay looking like an adorable giant toddler who just woke up. Cracked me up.
I dont know her!
DeleteMe neither.
DeleteKKK ---lots of luv to everyone! *yall wanted me to brang it* ---hope everyone has a bcool night lots of love xoxo
ReplyDelete35 - only 6 more to go!
ReplyDeleteJKE could have totally had fun with this. Hmph. Well, since I don’t want Outtie to get another C&D and I’m bored with the disclaimers, here’s the Anarchy version of the blind and reveal, done oldE style.
I’ve been in the business a long time. You see them come, you see them go. This guy – he came and pulled a Marissa Tomei and now he just won’t go. The difference is, while Marissa’s biggest sin is that she has a fondness for a highball glass, this guy has a fondness for something a little more substantial.
Now back at his height, our B list mostly movie actor (and I’m being generous here) could, as the kids say, GET IT – but as my the grandparents say, “As the years pass, so does the time of our lives.” I used to watch that with my grandmother sometimes and I always wondered why no one ever caught on that each one of those grains of sand represented minutes investing in the lives of people you’ll never meet who gaze longingly at other people you’ll never meet and sometimes double cross people you’ll never meet and go to jails that don’t exist.
So this actor’s star begins to fade but his libido apparently fires off in the opposite direction. Fast forward a dozen or so years and here is, still married, still not getting good roles, still living off that one role, and we find him at a club – once again, only this kind of club has a pool and hot tubs and a bar – and he’s the local famous cabana man with a plan. He’ll come over to where you’re lounging, pick up your phone and offer to take a photo with you. If you have Instagram, maybe you get his famous catchphrase filter. He’ll help you with that pesky lotion on that pesky small of your back. He’ll fetch a towel or another drink for you. Heck, he’ll even show you what a private cabana looks like. Maybe it has a picture of Tom Cruise in it!
Cuba Gooding, Jr
Damnnnn girl u had me going like now THIS is interesting then it's just plain ol Cuba lol. Shows how good writing can spice stuff up and why the old enty was so damn fun to read.
Delete36
ReplyDeleteIf I ever volunteer for this again, tell me you’ll put me out of my misery.
So yesterday George Clooney cheated on Krista Allen with Renee Zellwegger and Krista forgave him but drew the line at George banging Lucy Liu. Today, Lucy Liu’s boyfriend has a bodyguard for her because he is super jealous, wants to keep tabs on her, and also wants to have the bodyguard report to him whenever there’s a possibility she might find out the boyfriend is cheating on her. This sounds really complex and paranoid and with good reason.
Here’s the real story, courtesy of Wet Paint. Lucy’s boyfriend is a billionaire Israeli hedge fund manager. You know what’s going on in Israel right now? OK. Now, he’s not just a billionaire, he’s a double billionaire. He’s worth more than Bey and Jay combined.
So with that kind of dough and that kind of background, it’s not really a wonder they have tight security. Some jacka** could snatch her off the street and call for a big ol’ ransom and then we’d have to call Liam Neeson and man, the world just doesn’t have time for that. They’ve been dating four years and get this – Lucy’s an artist who went to an actual art school, has had several gallery shows, and has been donating the proceeds from her artwork to UNICEF for years. Kim Jong Enty, you have ads for toenail fungus. Lay off Lucy Liu.
38 – The word conjecture at the bottom of the page is there for a reason, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteA pap caught KimK going into a hotel. The pap caught KimK coming out of the hotel. He left when she did and some time later, baby Nori began to bake. Some time after that, pap is going through his photos, probably so he can find something to sell now that KimK is all over the news again, and he finds a forgotten photo that shows that when Kim came out of the hotel, she wasn’t wearing the earrings she had on going in and her hair was kind of messy and then pap goes HEY WAIT NORI LOOKS LIKE REGGIE BUSH AS A BABY! (Dude, all babies look like each other for a while and you’re a pap, you didn’t even catch the no earrings and messy hair the first time? Your observational skills are rather questionable.) So pap thinks he might be able to prove it.
So he calls KJE.
40 – That’s the night that the lights went in Vegas
ReplyDeleteThis one is also pretty far-fetched. Prince Hot Ginge and Brit met once in London and according to KJE they got it on and then moved on with their lives. Then Ginge comes to Vegas and Brit wants to meet him and she’s super duper excited but he like totally ditches her and then for like two weeks she cries and writes Princess Britney and Prince Harry true luv always in her pink diary and takes her Xanax and refuses to come out except to sit at restaurant tables and stare blankly at bodyguards’ backs while she eats. Because “something happened inside her those two weeks.. it is as if a light went off inside her”. Prince Hot Ginge broke Britney! Damn you, England, damn you!
Oh, I forgot one because I fell asleep reading it. #38, Lea Michele doesn’t talk to Ryan Murphy because he won’t cast her in his new show. Because that’s how it works.
Oh for Pete's sake!!! Like poor Britney is ever left alone for a minute for a hook up!! I'm on Team Leave Britney Alone and let her retire and enjoy her children and some peace and tranquility!!
DeleteWhat? That OJ thing? What does Lea want to play? Lance Ito?
DeleteYou tried it KJenty
DeleteHer SOA part was such an eye roll
Delete41
ReplyDeleteRemember that scene in the first Anchorman where Ron Burgundy’s crew fights the PBS guys and some other guys come and it gets all bloody and it’s still pointless? That’s this reveal. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler tell Adam Sandler he can’t sit at their table and he says he can wear pink on Wednesdays if he wants to. The end.
Poor Seven. You really took one for the team!!! God bless ya, kid!!! Glad it wasn't me who had to try and make sense of that mess over there!!!!
DeleteFor our very own Seven.
ReplyDelete