TMZ reports that a drunk Lance Armstrong hit two parked cars in Aspen over the holidays, and in a move totally unlike him, lied about it to authorities! Armstrong tried to make his girlfriend Anna Hansen take the fall. Here's a rundown of how her story unraveled upon repeated questioning:
Yes, I totally drove into two parked cars on the way home that night! Oopsies! I drove all the way home from the party, because Lance Armstrong was drunk off his ass. Oh, the valet guy clearly remembers Lance getting into the driver's seat? Oh yeah! That's because we pulled over and had a Chinese fire drill before I decided to hit some parked cars on the way home. Just kidding! It was Lance driving the whole time. But remember when I told you he was drunk? I meant to say that he was totes sobes!
Lance Armstrong is due in court on March 17th to face charges; he received two citations from the incident. You stay classy, Lance!
