Nah. It's not worth it. I refuse to give whoever's wronged me even more of my time or energy by holding on to resentment. Every minute I think of them is a minute they've stolen from me. Screw 'em.
It's been my experience that it takes me awhile to get over something. But once I do, I'm over it, and then when the person finally gets what is coming to them in the long run, I usually end up feeling kind of sorry for them, and I don't think of it as "revenge".
I have the misfortune of a long memory, so I tend to not call it a grudge but rather a memory of action and the distrust that follows. What I really and truly despise is finding things after the fact - like finding out your best friend cheated with your boyfriend and suddenly a whole bunch of pieces click into place.
Trust is a delicate vase - once broken, it can be glued back together, but will never be the same. Break it again and you might as well visit the dollar store (pound store!) for a replacement.
I don't think I do. One thing with me, if you cross me once, then you never get a second chance. My favorite quote is by Maya Angelou, "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them."
Life is too short to hold a grudge! Karma will take care of it in its own time! (That being said, I follow the old saying Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!)
Ugh, nope. As soon as someone apologizes, I immediately forgive. Dumb. It has screwed me over several times in the past. Like someone said above, when someone shows you who they are, believe them. I need to take that advice.
Freudiantits: me too. In the past it's been like "please asshole, may i have some more?" So I'm learning to be forgiving, yet prudent. So no grudge, but i don't let myself go back for seconds.
I'm a grudge holder to a certain extent. One of my sisters royally fucked with my career about 8 years ago. I was very successful at what I was doing and loved the field I was in. I needed someone I could trust that could work as hard as I was and I was assured by her that business was business; we had different last names, I hired her on as my assistant. Long story short - she not only destroyed my career, she destroyed our relationship. I haven't spoken to her since. So yep, I think I hold grudges.
I'm a Cancer so I'm the worst about letting go of stuff. I hate that about myself because it is a complete and total waste of time. You can be on my shit list for years but if I run into you after awhile, I typically forgive (unless you're the same asshole you were when I last saw you). On the flip side of that I can be a master at burning bridges if you fuck with me or my family. Just ask my brothers 2nd wife. We all prefer wife #1.
The only grudge I've held is against the person who made it so I ended up not keeping the last promise I ever made to my Mom. (It was about a song to be played at her memorial)
I don't think I do because it only hurts you, but I will cut people off like that if you show me a pattern of being shitty. If I care about you I'll give you some chances, but if i barely know you then I'll politely ignore you forever.
A grudge is wishing someone dead forever and that's different from recognizing someone's harmful behavior and choosing not to have contact and allowing it to happen again. A grudge is poison in your body while love heals all.
I like to think I'm all evolved and can let stuff go. But sometimes a grudge sits in your unconscious for years and years. Like, I'm not "holding" the grudge, but it's in there somewhere.
When someone's done me wrong, I usually let it slide. But a dozen years later, an opportunity for cold revenge pops up and I find myself thinking "Oh yeah, that bitch never got some comeuppance." Then it feels like I'm back at square one.
Yes. I don't forgive quickly. When someone is negligent, or betrays my trust, it takes a lot to get it back. I can rule someone out for years if I feel they were reckless with my loyalty. I must say that people don't change, and most of the time when I've let someone back in I find they haven't changed.
Hell yeah! I hold on to them just so I don't get wronged again. It's really difficult to function with a grudge though, especially when it's towards a sibling. I have to fake everything is fine for the sake of my mother, but believe me, when she's not around I will say goodbye to that POS that is my brother. My grudge is because I've seen her suffer, he's put her through so much and she keeps forgiving him and believing every lie, and he keeps doing it over and over again. I hate seeing her loose sleep over him, pray for him, and her love does not falter. I hate him for not appreciating her. Yet, I'm the bad guy and ungrateful for allowing the whole thing to hurt me so that I hate him. He is the worst POS towards me and it's my fault. Why is that? He keeps hurting the person I love the most, it's a well founded grudge, and I will hold on to it.
I have a similar situation with my adult brother who is 42. He has been given so many chances, an endless bank account, numerous "get out of situations free", etcetera. My mom, especially feels compelled to"save him" year after year - which has turned into decade after decade. She still pays his cell phone bill. Gave him her car (this past year!) bc his wasn't as nice and "besides I'm going to give it to him when I die". List goes on and on. Myself and my youngest brother (not the slacker) have never ask for anything after college. Yet my mother has asked me to help him (the slacker) financially because I can afford it. I told her that my household doesn't run that way. No handouts. Bc clearly his stimulus package isn't helping him be independent. I did cave and let him live with my family for 4 months while he went through a divorce. When the divorce was final - he was told upfront that he would be expected to sit down with my husband and go over a budget - in order to teach him how to live. He opted to move in with my mother and her husband in a small 2 bedroom town house. Their retirement house.
You can't quit family, but you don't have to answer your damn phone! My brother is not a topic of conversation when I'm with my mother. Good luck! It doesn't get better. You have to set up boundaries.
I used to, and all that negative energy was dragging me down. I woke up one morning and decided that it was time to let it go. I can't forget when someone does me wrong, but I try really hard not to let what was said or done get to me for too long.
I have a 30 year-old grudge that I treasure. I don't think about it often, only when the birch tries to friend me on Facebook. The anger and hate keeps me warm on those rare occasions. For the most part I'm a forgive, but you're dead to me kind of person.
Yes I do. To a fault sometimes. You mess with my friends, my man or my family I hold onto a grudge like a life preserve in rough seas, not my best quality
Nah. It's not worth it. I refuse to give whoever's wronged me even more of my time or energy by holding on to resentment. Every minute I think of them is a minute they've stolen from me. Screw 'em.
ReplyDeleteOhhh yeah!!!! I can forgive, but I can never forget. (Ask my husband!!)
ReplyDeleteI forgive but never forget.
ReplyDeleteI know I shouldn't, but I do. I can hold a grudge for years.
ReplyDeleteScorpio here. Cant help it.
ReplyDeleteIt's been my experience that it takes me awhile to get over something. But once I do, I'm over it, and then when the person finally gets what is coming to them in the long run, I usually end up feeling kind of sorry for them, and I don't think of it as "revenge".
ReplyDeleteBren- me too!
DeleteI have the misfortune of a long memory, so I tend to not call it a grudge but rather a memory of action and the distrust that follows. What I really and truly despise is finding things after the fact - like finding out your best friend cheated with your boyfriend and suddenly a whole bunch of pieces click into place.
ReplyDeleteTrust is a delicate vase - once broken, it can be glued back together, but will never be the same. Break it again and you might as well visit the dollar store (pound store!) for a replacement.
Nope. But I sure as hell remember what they did and make sure it doesn't happen again.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I do. One thing with me, if you cross me once, then you never get a second chance. My favorite quote is by Maya Angelou, "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them."
ReplyDeleteI love that quote by Angelou but unfortunately I haven't always followed the advice well.
Deleteyeah I'm bad about giving someone a second chance as well. After that, though, FARE THEE WELL.
DeleteLife is too short to hold a grudge! Karma will take care of it in its own time! (That being said, I follow the old saying Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!)
ReplyDeleteThis for me too Mama Ray.
DeleteI have a sign at my desk, "Dear Karma, I have a list of people you forgot".
ReplyDeleteUgh, nope. As soon as someone apologizes, I immediately forgive. Dumb. It has screwed me over several times in the past. Like someone said above, when someone shows you who they are, believe them. I need to take that advice.
ReplyDeleteFreudiantits: me too. In the past it's been like "please asshole, may i have some more?" So I'm learning to be forgiving, yet prudent. So no grudge, but i don't let myself go back for seconds.
DeleteLOL!
ReplyDeleteI'm a grudge holder to a certain extent. One of my sisters royally fucked with my career about 8 years ago. I was very successful at what I was doing and loved the field I was in. I needed someone I could trust that could work as hard as I was and I was assured by her that business was business; we had different last names, I hired her on as my assistant. Long story short - she not only destroyed my career, she destroyed our relationship. I haven't spoken to her since. So yep, I think I hold grudges.
ReplyDeleteThat's some serious shit Gina and in my opinion a well justified grudge on your part.
DeleteOnce again, I'm so glad I never had a sister.
Yes, sisters can be a blessing or a curse. I have 3 lol
DeleteI think I have the current world record for most grudges held by one person.
ReplyDeleteBally, is that you Mom?
ReplyDeleteHa!@calif!
DeleteYou guys are hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI will talk to person who wronged me, i will act pleasant but in my mind they are dead. You will never get a chance to screw me over again. Never!
ReplyDeleteI am such a mish-match of all of these.
ReplyDeleteHA!
ReplyDeleteI'm a Cancer so I'm the worst about letting go of stuff. I hate that about myself because it is a complete and total waste of time. You can be on my shit list for years but if I run into you after awhile, I typically forgive (unless you're the same asshole you were when I last saw you). On the flip side of that I can be a master at burning bridges if you fuck with me or my family. Just ask my brothers 2nd wife. We all prefer wife #1.
ReplyDeleteToo Funny @Kat
ReplyDeleteI can't remember.
ReplyDeleteThe only grudge I've held is against the person who made it so I ended up not keeping the last promise I ever made to my Mom. (It was about a song to be played at her memorial)
ReplyDelete"I want to forgive you and I want to forget you" -Lauren from the Hills
ReplyDeleteI don't think I do because it only hurts you, but I will cut people off like that if you show me a pattern of being shitty. If I care about you I'll give you some chances, but if i barely know you then I'll politely ignore you forever.
ReplyDeleteA grudge is wishing someone dead forever and that's different from recognizing someone's harmful behavior and choosing not to have contact and allowing it to happen again. A grudge is poison in your body while love heals all.
ReplyDeleteI like to think I'm all evolved and can let stuff go. But sometimes a grudge sits in your unconscious for years and years. Like, I'm not "holding" the grudge, but it's in there somewhere.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone's done me wrong, I usually let it slide. But a dozen years later, an opportunity for cold revenge pops up and I find myself thinking "Oh yeah, that bitch never got some comeuppance." Then it feels like I'm back at square one.
Brains are strange places.
Yes. I don't forgive quickly. When someone is negligent, or betrays my trust, it takes a lot to get it back. I can rule someone out for years if I feel they were reckless with my loyalty. I must say that people don't change, and most of the time when I've let someone back in I find they haven't changed.
ReplyDeleteHell yeah! I hold on to them just so I don't get wronged again. It's really difficult to function with a grudge though, especially when it's towards a sibling. I have to fake everything is fine for the sake of my mother, but believe me, when she's not around I will say goodbye to that POS that is my brother. My grudge is because I've seen her suffer, he's put her through so much and she keeps forgiving him and believing every lie, and he keeps doing it over and over again. I hate seeing her loose sleep over him, pray for him, and her love does not falter. I hate him for not appreciating her.
ReplyDeleteYet, I'm the bad guy and ungrateful for allowing the whole thing to hurt me so that I hate him. He is the worst POS towards me and it's my fault. Why is that?
He keeps hurting the person I love the most, it's a well founded grudge, and I will hold on to it.
I have a similar situation with my adult brother who is 42. He has been given so many chances, an endless bank account, numerous "get out of situations free", etcetera. My mom, especially feels compelled to"save him" year after year - which has turned into decade after decade. She still pays his cell phone bill. Gave him her car (this past year!) bc his wasn't as nice and "besides I'm going to give it to him when I die". List goes on and on. Myself and my youngest brother (not the slacker) have never ask for anything after college. Yet my mother has asked me to help him (the slacker) financially because I can afford it. I told her that my household doesn't run that way. No handouts. Bc clearly his stimulus package isn't helping him be independent. I did cave and let him live with my family for 4 months while he went through a divorce. When the divorce was final - he was told upfront that he would be expected to sit down with my husband and go over a budget - in order to teach him how to live. He opted to move in with my mother and her husband in a small 2 bedroom town house. Their retirement house.
DeleteYou can't quit family, but you don't have to answer your damn phone! My brother is not a topic of conversation when I'm with my mother. Good luck! It doesn't get better. You have to set up boundaries.
I used to, and all that negative energy was dragging me down. I woke up one morning and decided that it was time to let it go. I can't forget when someone does me wrong, but I try really hard not to let what was said or done get to me for too long.
ReplyDeleteI have a 30 year-old grudge that I treasure. I don't think about it often, only when the birch tries to friend me on Facebook. The anger and hate keeps me warm on those rare occasions. For the most part I'm a forgive, but you're dead to me kind of person.
ReplyDeleteSadly yes. I'm working on it though.
ReplyDeleteYes I do. To a fault sometimes. You mess with my friends, my man or my family I hold onto a grudge like a life preserve in rough seas, not my best quality
ReplyDeleteI'm a Leo. I slash their faces with my claws. I roar at them. After I get all that out, I kick them right out of my life.
ReplyDeleteI don't hold grudges, but I have no room in my life for troublemakers.