People recently asked Suzanne Somers about the secret to her happy marriage to husband of 40 years Alan Hamel in light of her new book Two’s Company: A Fifty-Year Romance with Lessons Learned in Love, Life & Business. Here's what she had to say:
Is there advice in your book that you wish you knew early on in your marriage?
"I wish I could say there is a recipe. Marriages take time and work. We had the advantage of being incredibly drawn to one another sexually, and I was madly in love. We fought like dogs for 10 years during our dating and living together period (which was actually kind of sexy), but getting married calmed things down. Building our business and combining families added new complications, but finally our personal and business relationship became clearly defined and here we are 50 years later and very grateful."
Is it true that you’ve never spent a night away from each other in 37 years? Why did you decide to commit to that lifestyle and how have you made it work with your busy schedules?
"No agreement was ever made, just an insatiable desire to be together. I can’t imagine a night without him. It sounds corny, but we are one."
You’ve been open about how intimacy is an essential part of a couple’s (and a woman’s) life. How often do you recommend couples have sex?
"We have sex every day, sometimes more. I love it. Every couple is different. This is just what works for us. Alan has the blood pressure of an athlete, and he claims that sex is his daily cardio workout and says that it’s a hell of a lot more fun than a treadmill."
How did your connection change from when you were newlyweds to a couple who’s been together for decades?
"I love the way Alan looks at me. I love looking at him. He turns me on, I turn him on. It was like this at the beginning and it remains to this day. I thank God everyday for this incredible love in my life."
How have you and Alan kept your married life — in and out of the bedroom — fresh for the last 40 years?
"We give each other a lot of attention. We date at least three times a week. We dance when we are alone. We are respectful of one another. We both value our good health. I never get tired of him. We laugh a lot. The moment I open my eyes in the morning, Alan says, “I’m sorry,” which always cracks me up. We are each other’s everything. I’ve never had a night out with the girls and Alan’s never had a night out with the boys. We are lovers, parents and business partners. We are best friends."
What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned over the course of your marriage?
"That it is a privilege to find your soulmate, true love. It’s better than anything. It’s not about money. It’s only about who you love and who loves you that makes life rich and full. We have it. We all have rough times but working it out seems to bring more clarity and brings us even closer."
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