Saturday, September 10, 2016

Creepy Clowns - Coming Soon To a Town Near You!

People reports that a spate of Creepy Clowns have been reported over a dozen times by residents for "acting strangely" and trying to lure kids into the woods with money. A Greensboro, NC police spokeswoman stated, "If this is a hoax or a publicity stunt it is not funny. It is alarming to the public and a drain on police resources. We just don't know at this point, because we haven't had the chance to interview any clowns." By now, the half of you that are afraid of clowns are scared shitless, and the other half of you are doubled over in laughter that they haven't interviewed the creepy clowns!

Now these clowns are no longer content to restrict their activities to North Carolina, and are spreading to South Carolina! One woman reported that four men dressed as clowns followed her home in her car, and waved at her! The horror! Another woman reported "a large-figured clown with a blinking nose standing under a post light near the garbage dumpster area." You can't make this shit up! The only thing surprising about this story is that it's not taking place in Florida.


Stay safe out there, and beware of clowns with balloons, especially ones that float. They all float down here!


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