Remember when Lindsay Lohan and Wilmer Valderrama broke up back in the day, and then she went around town wearing a shirt that said "You Were Never My Boyfriend"? Slash would like to see that shirt, and raise it one! TMZ reports that Slash wants a judge to say that he and estranged wife Perla were never married. You see, Perla got married to some dude named Carlos in 1993, and divorced after a month, only the paperwork wasn't properly filed. Perla and Slash were wed in 2001, and when the couple tried to get dual citizenship for their son Cash, they found out that Perla and Carlos were still technically married.
The couple hired a lawyer in 2009, a judge finalized Perla's divorce to Carlos, and made it retroactive to 1994. Apparently judges can do that? What a neat trick! So now that Perla is gunning for Slash's assets during their 13-year marriage, Slash was a "take back" on that whole retroactive divorce deal. You know what Perla's response is going to be - " 1 2 3 NO TAKE BACKS!"