1. Just be nice.
"I grew up in a pretty religious family, and the one thing I heard every Sunday was 'Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you.' To me, still, that's the golden rule to live by, and it's not something to work at, either. It's just the way we should live. If we don't, it's chaos. When you don't understand something, it becomes a battle. Fear makes people defensive, aggressive and judgmental. But if you can see that while we're all different, our basic needs are the same — we all want love, safety and understanding — then it's easy to be kind."
2. Stay true to yourself.
"Early on in stand-up, people told me to be edgier and curse, but that's just not who I am. It's not my style of humor, and that held me back for a while. I was neither the girl next door nor the ingenue, so nobody knew what to do with me."
3. Never let bullies win.
"The bullying I endured [in Hollywood] after I came out made up for the lack of it during my childhood. I moved out of L.A., went into a severe depression, started seeing a therapist and had to go on antidepressants for the first time in my life. It was scary and lonely. All I'd known for 30 years was work, and all of a sudden I had nothing. Plus, I was mad. It didn't feel fair — I was the same person everyone had always known.
Eventually I started meditating, working out and writing again, and I slowly started to climb out of it. I can't believe I came back from that poin. I can't believe where my life is now...I don't know what people are saying about me, and I don't want to know, because I don't care. My motto is, 'I do my best. You can be with me or not.' "
4. Find a way to forgive.
"I definitely remember who those people were [who turned their backs on me], but I've forgiven them. I understand it. I wish it was different. Show business is a business, and what I did was controversial at the time. There were sitcoms before and after mine showing people making out and having sex, and yet my show suddenly got an 'Adult Content' warning. Nobody told me that was going to happen. I couldn't believe it the first time I saw it. It was so insulting! Now, though, when I see those people at functions, there's definitely an unspoken 'I made a mistake' on their part and also an unspoken 'I accept your apology' on mine. Anger and aggression weaken you, because they take so much energy to hold in place. But kindness is a strength [that] makes you more serene."
Read the full article at Good Housekeeping.
No comments:
Post a Comment