Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Just Get Divorced Already: Depp/Heard Edition

Well, thirsty fame heaux Amber Heard actually sat for her deposition on Saturday. Settlement talks have stalled. TMZ reports that Amber is demanding that the pair release a joint statement talking about how Johnny Depp beat her all the time, and Depp refuses, on the grounds that he never beat her. Heard was also demanding a "phenomenal" amount of money.

In related news, someone *cough*Amber*cough* leaked a photo of Johnny's severed fingertip to TMZ, along with evidence that he dipped his severed finger in blue paint, and wrote Billy Bob (as in Thornton)'s name on a mirror when he accused Amber of cheating on him with Billy Bob. First off, that's art, not abuse. Secondly, something about Billy Bob gets people to make blood offerings to him. Just ask Angelina Jolie. Can't fault Depp for that. Yes, I'm being tongue in cheek because Amber's side is ridiculous. And Johnny obviously needs rehab, stat.

Amber hired a new attorney, who is Shelly Sterling's old divorce attorney. Let's hope this new dude can convince Amber to stop the messy media leaks and keep it in the courts. This is exhausting. Next update from me will be when they actually nail shit out in court; it will be a full time job if I have to write up every single time Amber denies leaking something to the media.


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