Thursday, August 31, 2017

John Legend Talks Masculinity

John Legend recently sat down for an interview with Cosmopolitan, where they asked him about perceptions of masculinity, and life with wife Chrissy Tiegen. Here's what he had to say:

On losing his virginity at a young age:
"Just being around older people that were having sex, it felt like I had to catch up with everybody. I think a lot pressure when you’re a [cisgender male] teen has to do with losing your virginity and negotiating relationships with women." 

On facing pressure from "jock culture":
"[That] still seems to present in a lot of high schools, particularly in places like where I grew up, where football was so important and top athletes are usually the most popular guys on campus. When you’re not that guy — and I was not that guy — it feels like your value isn’t the same as theirs.”

As someone whose teenage years were spent in the company of much older peers, were there parts of yourself that you were afraid to reveal in social situations?

"Oh, I’m sure. I think you’re always policing yourself by trying to do what you think would be “cool” and accepted by other people, until you start to figure out who you really want to be. [Growing up] is an ongoing push-and-pull of you being yourself and you performing to what society expects you to be. I think the end product ends up being some kind of composite of these two factors."

How do you and Chrissy maintain an open line of communication in your marriage?
"There’s no problem with openness in our relationship. You know Chrissy. She doesn’t hold anything back! I’m quite reserved, but being with someone like her inspires me to be open about my emotions. She brings them out of me because she’s so open about hers."

Chrissy recently told one of our reporters that you’re trying for another child in the near future. Has your experience with IVF challenged your relationship?
"Having a baby is a big challenge for a couple, and going through that together strengthens your bond because if you make it through [having a child], you know you can make it through anything.


I think it’s especially difficult when you can’t conceive naturally. You want to feel like everything’s working properly and want everything to be perfect, but sometimes it’s not. I wouldn’t say we can’t conceive naturally, but I would say that it’s enough of a challenge where it felt like we needed help. We’re lucky that we’re living in an age where we can conceive in other ways. [IVF] brought us Luna and hopefully it will bring us a few more awesome kids, too."

In the same interview, Chrissy revealed that she’s made a conscious decision to cut back on drinking. Did you and Chrissy have a discussion when she felt that her drinking was getting out of hand? What was that conversation like?
"We’re always honest with each other, so we discuss everything that’s on our minds. When she was thinking about how she wanted to drink less, we talked about it. I just want to support her. I want her to be happy and to live the fullest, most awesome life she can, and I want us to do it together. Whenever she sets her mind to anything, I always tell her, “I want to support you and help you do it.”"

Read the full interview at Cosmopolitan.

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