A criminalized onion is a rapscallion. https://t.co/edtVqzNixh
— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) September 20, 2020
“I had a dream my life would be, so different from this hell I’m living” - a French prostitute in 1823 and also me rn
— Chris Murphy (@christress) September 19, 2020
I have terrible news... pic.twitter.com/otCmRGETQe
— Katrina - WhiteBearCommunity (@WhiteBearCommu1) September 20, 2020
My dog Esther went to a birthday party today 😂 pic.twitter.com/5ReL61K6kR
— Josie Scott (@josiescott_) September 18, 2020
I gotta say, R.E.M. gave me unrealistic expectations about how good I’d feel at the end of the world
— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) September 19, 2020
cat owners will be covered in scratches and scars and just be like these are little love marks from my handsome boy 😊 his name is pillow he's such a little man :)
— thomas 🍌 (@perfectsweeties) September 19, 2020
This is the funniest text i have ever received in my ENTIRE LIFE and i want it put on my grave pic.twitter.com/40waWL0opH
— kristina ◡̈ (@kristinascotto) September 19, 2020
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