me: onion rings and a bottle of wine for the table
— suki (@desukidesu) April 12, 2021
waiter: white or red?
me, trying to impress my date: whichever onion the chef prefers
I said maybeeeeeeeeeeeeee
— Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher) April 14, 2021
all bodies are beach bodies but only some boys are the beach boys hope this helps
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) April 14, 2021
one of my friends got totally hammered at a literary event & went up to his friend who'd given his book four stars on goodreads & screamed "WHERE'S THE FIFTH STAR BITCH?" & they never spoke again & this is my favorite story about goodreads
— sarah rose etter (@sarahroseetter) April 14, 2021
Thread:
I’ve always found myself staying up late even if I was tired or had to get up early because I wanted more me time. I read up on it and it’s called revenge bedtime procrastination and people who are highly stressed do it gain a sense of control back in their life and spend their
— mehole fartin (@abbiehive) April 14, 2021
I think I found a perfect place for Spongebob. pic.twitter.com/c8ubHKTtbu
— SOUL (@SoulKingLives) April 13, 2021
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