Tweets of the Day 1/3/18

I can't use it, but I think I wrote the best tinder profile if anybody wants it:
"Looking for someone who doesn't play games? WELL KEEP MOVING YOU FUCKING BORE"

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) January 2, 2018

The book I’m reading just asked “why is the story of the boy who cried wolf told over and over in our society, and not the story of Cassandra, the woman who told the truth but was never believed?” pic.twitter.com/wGQS3YyVQI

— ninki minjaj (@kerra_henke) January 1, 2018

Me, “Alexa, make all these people leave my house.”

Alexa, “Playing Nickelback.”

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) December 27, 2017