My wife just told me she slept really badly so i asked why and she said “at 3am you laughed hysterically in your sleep and said ‘i did NOT see that coming!’ And that pretty much woke me up”
— Diedrich Bader (@bader_diedrich) February 25, 2021
i wasn’t made to work a 9-5, i was made to swim in turquoise waters, eat fruit, and paint in a villa by the sea
— 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲. (@dreamyygal) February 24, 2021
i like that twitter uses a quill for the tweet creation button, evoking the imagery of great shakespearean works which immeasurably shaped the written word with their beauty. i click on that button and write ‘dick on sad mode’
— Kermits dick Stan account (@punished_picnic) February 23, 2021
I hope all teenagers have a phase where electric feel by mgmt is the sexiest song they've ever heard. I really do. more than anything else in the whole world
— LN (@abernothing) February 24, 2021
“im just vibing” you have not eaten a vegetable in 17 days
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) February 28, 2021
i you
— chloe ☀️ (@CPTNPHOEBUS) February 27, 2021
am know
warning nothing
you of
JAVERT
How many times in movies have you seen women who are sleeping naked get up and wrap the entire bed sheet around them to walk around? Have any of you done it? Have any of you seen someone do it in real life? I gotta know.
— Laraine Newman (@larainenewman) February 27, 2021
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