Saw a woman looking into engine of her stopped car to say, I don't know cars, but can I help? "I'm fine," she said, then, "You're Scott Simon." I nodded. "Say something funny." I paused, then said, "Horse walks into a bar..." She held up her hands. "Thank God, I'm good to go."— Scott Simon (@nprscottsimon) July 14, 2020
I am SCREAMING pic.twitter.com/bfqbBBQK7m— Joshua Zitser (@mrjoshz) July 14, 2020
This was the last nice thing that's happened. pic.twitter.com/06YeD0aby1— Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) July 14, 2020
My new podcast is funny but not THIS funny. https://t.co/L8YRkgkyoF— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) July 14, 2020
Thinkin’ about how Angelina Jolie gave all her sons names that end in x— Helen Rosner (@hels) July 14, 2020
once my “wide brim bucket hat w detachable face shield” arrives from hong kong in 2-3 weeks, it’s over for your hoes. pic.twitter.com/sm6qlRu9eh— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) July 14, 2020
I think it’s rude when ppl post a weight loss update and people comment yessss keep going. Bitch how you know I wasn’t done 😗 Mayor Tooliani (@Toolie__xo) July 13, 2020
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