Always a massive red flag than when a guy lists “The Art of War” as one of his favorite books. It's like, you're an accountant, Brent, you're not Tyrion Lannister— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) March 3, 2020
millennial standup: my mental illness has genuinely made my life harder and here is an amusing way of putting everything— bad boy (@badboychadhoy) March 2, 2020
boomer standup: holy fucking christ do I hate my wife and kids
This man live in a community college https://t.co/7NFnpNx2oy— 𝑨𝒍𝒊 🐍 (@jordanfibonacci) March 3, 2020
Options when not thanked for opening the door for someone:— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) March 3, 2020
1. Mutter “You’re welcome”
2. Shout “YOU’RE WELCOME”
3. Say “Don’t mention it”
4. Say nothing, but menacingly
5. Follow them with your eyes until they disappear from view
6. Remain at the door in furious silence for days
normal people kissing:— corri (@ThatsSoCorri) March 2, 2020
•sensual
•butterflies in ur stomach
•ur the only two people in the world
people with glasses kissing:
•clink
•clank
•ok lets take them off
•wait where’d u go
•u feel cold
•oh that’s a lamp
when my 6th grade girlfriend broke up w me I made a YouTube video called “heartbreak” that was just a slideshow of broken hearts set to Heart Shaped Box by Nirvana and one night I heard my mom watching it downstairs and it’s something we have not and will not ever discuss— graham ross techler (@gr8h8m_t3chl3r) March 2, 2020
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