"I made a decision yesterday that was a really fucking hard one. I'm slowly learning that prolonging and putting off that inevitable and looming painful decision or choice ... ONLY CREATES MORE PAIN. AND YOURE LITERALLY JUST SITTING IN IT. I made that hard choice yesterday, and for a while it felt like my life was over. But today, while working through my PTSD with my doc, I felt that door inside of me open up just a little bit more.
It used to be covered in caution tape and red lights flashing DO NOT OPEN. But I felt a cool little breeze and it wasn't as scary peeping through. I also realized that PTSD and/or depression FOR ME, and I say for me because I can only speak for myself, is like a trip on LSD. For those of you who haven't dropped acid.....it's really strong, so take a lot. Jk but for real it's gr8.
But I snap out of it through the clarity and ease of the fact that A. everything is going to be ok. 2. Dude you're on f--kin acid man. In those times all I had to do was refocus and take back control of MY OWN MIND. Today, if presented with two options, I will CHOOSE the one that is most beneficial and happy for me right then and there.
I'll make some healthy choices. Today I'll drink water and say something nice about myself. I brushed my teeth sooosososo good too. I might even hug myself. But I'm definitely going to love myself. Just like I love all of you!!!"
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