Body Image Reboot
“I used to see healthy as this image of what I thought perfect looked like—the perfect muscle definition, etc. But healthy now is how strong I feel. It’s a beautiful change, because if you’re strong and confident, it doesn’t matter what muscles are showing. Today I love my shape. My body is the shape it is because it holds my heart."
There's Such a Thing as Career Karma
"In October 2015, when I got the book deal, I wasn’t filming anything. Then I got flooded with work [including getting a leading role in an Amazon TV show called The Last Tycoon, which begins streaming this summer, and the movie Okja with Jake Gyllenhaal, which opened in June]. People told me to put the book on hold, but I knew it would be worth it to keep going. And as luck would have it, To the Bone came up [playing a woman sent to a rehab center for her eating disorder]. Although I was in recovery for several years before the movie, preparing for the film allowed me to gather facts about eating disorders from professionals. It was a new form of recovery for me. I got to experience it as my character, Ellen, but also as Lily.
I was terrified that doing the movie would take me backward, but I had to remind myself that they hired me to tell a story, not to be a certain weight. In the end, it was a gift to be able to step back into shoes I had once worn but from a more mature place."
Exercise Is Everything
"I'm a Pisces, so I love swimming whenever I can. I was on the track team in high school and hated it, but now I like to run by myself and listen to my music [check out her playlist in the magazine!]. But what I love most is Body by Simone. It’s a method that incorporates strengthening and toning (follow this video to try it at home). I’ve been training privately with a trainer there, and we do isometrics and ballet moves. It’s not CrossFit, but it keeps me on my toes. To be honest, I try to be active in some way every day: It’s my time to disappear and be in my own world. I can also push myself past what I thought I was capable of. Of course, if I’m traveling or tired, I give my body a rest. I used to feel guilty if I skipped a workout in the past, but now it just means life is offering up things that I want to do instead. Those ellipticals will always be there but experiences won’t."
I'm an Open Book
"I did consider that talking about my struggles with an eating disorder would overshadow my accomplishments as an actor, but I also knew this was something I needed to do to move forward as a human and an actress. I needed to let go. I’ve always strived to start conversations about taboo subjects with young women. Sharing my story in Unfiltered happened to coincide—not strategically!—with To the Bone, but I’ve always admired people who are relatable and honest. Having suffered from an eating disorder doesn’t define me; I’m not ashamed of my past."
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