Sophia Bush recently penned an essay for Cosmopolitan Magazine. Here is an excerpt:
"It seems we often learn about what love is—or what we think it should be—from movies and TV. There’s this binary idea of “I love him!/He’s the worst!” “I’m going to marry him!/I never want to speak to him again!” Sure, everybody has moments when they look at their partner and wonder, Could this person be my person? But I believe that the more you experience, the more your feelings begin to exist in shades of gray.
...In my 20s, when I was starting out my career as an actor, I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but one found me and became serious, even though I hadn’t planned to settle down until my 30s. But when the person you’re with asks you to marry him, you think: This must be happening because it’s supposed to.
But I refuse to let that one relationship define me, which is why I’ve done my best to avoid discussing it for 10 years. The reality is that, yes, it was a massive event in my life. And the trauma of it was amplified by how public it became, which was incredibly foreign and bizarre to a girl who’d been just another college kid 24 months before her life blew up.
...I don’t define success that way anymore. Because the answers are never black-and-white. Often in between those two, you find the keys to what you need in partnership: what you’re willing to give, what you want to get, and what things are absolutes that you cannot compromise on. A few months with the right person can be as great an experience as a decade-long union with someone else.
When you take the pressure of The One off, you’ll open yourself up to endless possibilities. You’ll learn to have a truly deep, knowing relationship with yourself first. Then the rest will fall into place. Reasons, seasons, and lifetimes. They’re all valid."
Read the full essay at Cosmopolitan.
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