This woman gave birth and the Dr was reluctant to show her the baby. Finally pressing him he admitted the child had a severe birth defect. He took her to the nursery where she screams in horror that it's nothing but a big eyeball.
Guy pulls up to a gas station with a station wagon full of penguins. The attendant comes up and asks, "what are you doing with all those penguins?" Guy answers, "I don't know. You have any ideas?" "Yeah, you should take them to the zoo." "Great idea!" Next day the guy pulls up to the gas station, again with the car full of penguins. Attendant says, "Hey I thought I told you to take them to the zoo!" "I did! Today we're going to the beach!"
Two city boys are driving through farm country. "Hey, look at that group of cows." Herd of cows. "What?" Herd of cows. "Well, of course I've heard of cows; I'm the one who pointed them out!" No, a cow herd. "What?" A cow herd! "What difference does it make if a cow heard? I didn't say anything I'm ashamed of!"
I will be sent to straight to hell but I'm First Nations so...Why do First Nations People hate winter..(pause) because it's white and it's all over our land. (sounds of crickets, short, older grey haired First Nations woman hangs her head in shame) I apologize to anyone who reads this post
Why did the raisin go out with the fig?
ReplyDeleteBecause he couldn't get a date!
Sarah Palin will run for President.
ReplyDeleteLiam Neeson’s cock is so big, this joke will be continued next week!
ReplyDeleteHappy Friday!
How did the frog die? He Kermit suicide.
ReplyDeleteNOOOOO!!!!!
DeleteThis woman gave birth and the Dr was reluctant to show her the baby. Finally pressing him he admitted the child had a severe birth defect. He took her to the nursery where she screams in horror that it's nothing but a big eyeball.
ReplyDelete"OMG, could it be any worse?" She cries
"It's blind".
Don't know why it tickled me so much.
I've always loved that joke. Are we related?
DeleteI had never heard it until a few weeks ago. I must have laughed for 15 minutes. My SIL's timing on it was just perfect!
DeleteVERY funny. My kind of joke.
DeleteThe term "Deflatriots." I keep calling them that all week, it sounds so hilarious.
ReplyDeleteWho is the Seahawk who won't talk to the press?
ReplyDeleteDidn't somebody on here say that Kristen Stewart had been nominated for a Ceasar award? That's pretty funny.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the difference between hippie chicks and hockey players?
ReplyDeleteHockey players shower after 3 periods.
Guy pulls up to a gas station with a station wagon full of penguins. The attendant comes up and asks, "what are you doing with all those penguins?" Guy answers, "I don't know. You have any ideas?" "Yeah, you should take them to the zoo." "Great idea!"
ReplyDeleteNext day the guy pulls up to the gas station, again with the car full of penguins.
Attendant says, "Hey I thought I told you to take them to the zoo!"
"I did! Today we're going to the beach!"
A penguin took his car to be repaired, and decides to go to a cafe to wait. Whilst there he has an ice cream, which he messily finishes.
DeleteReturning to the garage he says to the mechanic, "How's it going?"
"Looks like you've blown a seal", replies the mechanic.
"Oh no, just had an ice cream", retorts the penguin, wiping his beak with his flipper.
Two city boys are driving through farm country.
ReplyDelete"Hey, look at that group of cows."
Herd of cows.
"What?"
Herd of cows.
"Well, of course I've heard of cows; I'm the one who pointed them out!"
No, a cow herd.
"What?"
A cow herd!
"What difference does it make if a cow heard? I didn't say anything I'm ashamed of!"
I will be sent to straight to hell but I'm First Nations so...Why do First Nations People hate winter..(pause) because it's white and it's all over our land. (sounds of crickets, short, older grey haired First Nations woman hangs her head in shame) I apologize to anyone who reads this post
ReplyDeleteThat's freakin hilarious redronnie. I'll have to tell my dad that one, he danced for the Kiowa tribe with the Kosharis through highschool.
Delete