Ricky Gervais recently sat down for an interview with Esquire UK, where he revealed what he has learned in life. Here are some of the highlights:
"A manual is to be put in the bottom drawer never to be opened. If I can't work something out then I don't want it.
Don't view success as anything other than happiness. If you're happy then nothing else matters.
I grew up loving every creature. If I saw a toad in my garden, it was a privilege that I'd bumped into this amazing wild animal. We all have the same amount of rights to be on this planet and we're all just trying to survive.
People who hate "the c-word" would hear it less if they didn't go around acting like cunts.
I enjoy food because it tastes good. I don't enjoy food that's good for me. I don't enjoy lettuce. I don't enjoy pure protein. I enjoy pasta with half a pound of Parmesan on it and a bottle of red wine; if I didn't then I wouldn't have to work out like Rocky every day. Being healthy, to me, is dying as slowly as you can. That's all it is.
I can't stand incompetence. You know when you buy a tent and there's one peg missing? I'll never get over that.
No one needs to work. You work because you want the things it gives you. I don't just mean the ability to buy mansions and boats; I mean self-worth and fun. There's nothing I'd rather be doing than writing and directing and stand-up. I mean, that's allowed me to buy mansions and boats but when I'm in the mansion or the boat I'm thinking of a funny joke.
Everything I've done is a little bit existential. It's all about people wondering if they've done the right thing.
I've never understood the psychology of wanting to see an animal suffer. When a vet puts down a cat that's in pain it's the kind thing to do. The vet doesn't then lie next to the cat and take a selfie. A vet has never said, "Can I see if I can do it with a bow and arrow?"
I cry at happy things more than sad things. I'll cry at The Waltons.
If I had my way I'd have three tracksuits, three pairs of pyjamas and lots of black T-shirts... I've just described my wardrobe. I wear things until they're worn out and then I wish I'd bought two of them. I gave up fashion at 28. I just want comfort.
The more you find out, the more you need to know.
It doesn't worry me that one day I'm not going to exist any more. I cherish being alive. I'm like a dog. Every day is my best day.
What's the secret to a long and happy relationship? My favourite answer came from Larry Hagman. He said, "Separate bathrooms."
Read the full list at Esquire UK.